November 7, 2008

Harry Potter Nimbus 2000 "Vibrator" broomstick

In yet another sign of what is the United States of the Morally Repressed, toy maker giant Mattel pulled what was sure to be the hottest Christmas item this century (or at least the wettest). The Harry Potter Nimbus 2000 Broom [LINKS: 1 | 2 | 3], a replica of the famous flying stick used by boy wizard Harry Potter has girls and their moms flying with glee. [click to read more +/-]

The reason..it’s vibrating sensations prove to be too much for the ladies. Indeed, the vibrating broomstick is sweeping teenagers off their feet since the first day it hit the stores, putting smiles on the faces of grandmothers and leaving young girls completely legless, or in some cases, flat on their backs with their shaking thighs wrapped around a length of vibrating wood. The reason for this throbbing tsunami of joy? The Rimbutt 2000 Harry Potter Broom—a four-foot long vibrating stick hand-crafted from solid beechwood—which promises to give Harry Potter fans ‘the ride of your life.’

Here are few reviews from the Amazon listing before it was also pulled (absolutely worth it!)..
  • This toy was #1 on my daughter's Christmas list. So what the heck, although it has no educational value I figured it would be good for imaginative play. It wasn't until after she opened her gift and started playing with it that I realized that the toy may offer a more than sensational experience. The broomstick has cute sound effects and ***VIBRATES*** when they put it between their legs to fly. Come on---what were the creators of this toy thinking? She'll keep playing with the Nimbus 2000, but with the batteries removed.
  • I recently bought this for my son, Vantro. He's a HUGE Harry Potter fan. Seen the movie 32 times (in the theaters) and made the paper. This toy gives him the ability to fly around the house zapping things. My only problem I see with the toy is the batteries drain too fast and his sister fights him over it, so now I need to buy her one.
  • When my 12 year old daughter asked for this for her birthday, I kind of wondered if she was too old for it, but she seems to LOVE it. Her friends love it too! They play for hours in her bedroom with this great toy. They really seem to like the special effects it offers (the sound effects and vibrating). My oldest daughter (17) really likes it too! I reccomend this for all children.
  • My 12 year old daughter is a big Harry Potter fan, and loved the part with the Nimbus 2000, so I decided to buy her this toy. I was afraid she would think it was too babyish, but she LOVES this toy. Even my daughter's friends enjoy playing with this fun toy. I was surprised at how long they can just sit in her room and play with this magic broomstick! A great buy for any Harry Potter fan! :)



November 6, 2008

When insults had class...

Just received these in an email and couldn’t resist putting them up here. These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words, including some gems from Churchill, Oscar Wilde and Benjamin Disraeli... [click to read more +/-]

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, “If you were my husband I’d give you poison.” He said, “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.”
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An exchange between John Wilkes and the Earl of Sandwich (both English Parliamentarians of the 18th century):

–The Earl: “Egad, sir, I do not know whether you will die at the gallows or of the pox.”

–Wilkes: “That will depend, my Lord, on whether I embrace your principles or your women.” (thanks to Nick for the correction!)

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“He had delusions of adequacy.” - Walter Kerr

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“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” - Winston Churchill
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“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.” Clarence Darrow

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“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

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“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.” - Moses Hadas
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“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” - Mark Twain

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“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.” - Oscar Wilde

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“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend…. if you have one.” - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

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“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second… if there is one.” - Winston Churchill, in response.

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“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.” - Stephen Bishop

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“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” - John Bright

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“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.” -
Irvin S. Cobb

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“He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.” -
Samuel Johnson

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“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.” - Paul Keating

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“In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.” - Charles, Count Talleyrand

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“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” - Forrest Tucker

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“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?” - Mark Twain

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“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” - Mae West

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“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” - Oscar Wilde

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“He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts… for support rather than illumination.” - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

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“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.” - Billy Wilder

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“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.” - Groucho Marx

November 5, 2008

Ricky Martin's going metal... and Others...

Anything can happen on live TV. A local news show weatherman has to be ready to report no matter what. Even if there's a really scary bug. Even if that bug walks on your shoe. Even if you're really, really effeminate.
[click to read more +/-]





And Matt dances in 42 countries in 14 months. If Matt was a wanted criminal, this would be an infuriating piece of evidence to any detectives trying to capture him. He's the real-life Carmen Sandiego, only innocent and more adorable. I don't know why I like this video.. maybe reminds me of some fond memories...





There's a reason Internet shopping hasn't killed off the traditional mall yet. It's escalators. I always wanted to do this...




And ofcourse, here's Ricky Martin going metal... (wink!)


October 28, 2008

The best prank call, ever...

Sweet revenge this is. On behalf of us folks who are tormented by the likes of the millions of knuckle headed telesales operators around the world, Tom Mabe, salutes. [click to read more +/-]



September 17, 2008

The worst job in the world...

So you think Lehman Brothers is a shocker? [LINK] So should we be laughing at their plight, even though we know they have stashed away millions and don't you dare forget those million dollar bonuses they would receive.. [LINK] So should we thanking our lucky stars that we still have a desk to go to? Even though we know its the worst job in the world, or is it??? [click to read more +/-]
THINK AGAIN...

September 15, 2008

King of condoms

He wanted to be the king of condom key chains. But there are some things they don't teach you at the Business School. [click to read more +/-]

Here is a brilliant article by Robert L. Strauss in the Stanford Magazine [LINK] July / August 1999 issue [LINK]:

There was no doubt about it: I had discovered The Next Big Thing. Like Edison and the lightbulb, like Gates and the pc operating system, I would launch a revolution that would transform society while bringing me wealth and fame. I was about to become the first person in America to sell condom key chains.

I first encountered the condom key chain while working in Bangkok. Faced with a warehouse full of soon-to-expire condoms, the ingenious leaders of a Thai community development organization took the aging prophylactics, sealed them in plastic and attached a key ring with a tongue-in-cheek logo: "In Case of Emergency, Break Glass." They couldn't sell them fast enough.

My belief that the condom key chain would quickly eclipse the legendary success of the Pet Rock was confirmed by a simple market survey. I showed one to my mother. "Robert," she said, "these are the funniest things I've ever seen! Get me 50. I'm going to give them to all my friends." Mom loved it. She thought all her friends would love it. America would love it. What more did I need to know?

Plenty, as it happened. Though I had a Stanford MBA and regularly consulted on multimillion-dollar projects, I didn't know the first thing about starting a business. When I asked a successful classmate how to invoice a customer, he suggested I go to one of the large business-supply warehouses. "They sell 'Business in a Box,' " he told me. "It's got everything you need." I didn't realize he was joking until I asked a clerk for one at Office Depot. While there, I bought a copy of How to Form Your Own California Corporation. I spent $30 on a special seal for all the important documents I would have to emboss. I registered a "doing business as" name. Finally, in anticipation of huge sales, I linked my marketing database with the word processor on my personal computer and invested $10,000 in my venture.

My order of 10,000 key chains was scheduled to arrive from Thailand just in time for the San Francisco International Gift Show. When the shipment came in, I raced to the airport.

"Where are your papers?" the clerk asked.

"What papers?" I asked.

"Customs clearance," he told me.

"Customs clearance?" I said. "I've got 10,000 condom key chains to get to the Gift Show by tomorrow."

"Well, Mr. Strauss, I guess this is where the rubber meets the road," he said, breaking himself up.

Hours later, with papers finally in hand, I backed up to the loading dock. My 10,000 key chains had been shipped in two cardboard boxes. Lifting them from the dock, I noticed that the bottoms of both boxes were discolored with large greasy stains, like the blotches beneath leftover pizza. With the Gift Show starting in less than 24 hours, there was no time to complain about mishandling. Once home, I ripped the boxes open like a kid at Christmas.

I had written a series of clever slogans to supplement the original "In Case of Emergency, Break Glass." There were 2,000 marked "Slippery When Wet" and 2,000 marked "Merging Traffic Ahead" adorned with little yellow yield signs. For Pac-10 schools, I had 2,000 "Beat the Trojans" key chains. How could this miss?

I reached into the boxes to fondle these jewels of schlock merchandising. My hands came away covered with light, clear oil. The key chains were all stuck together; my entire shipment was covered with goo. It didn't take long to realize what had happened.

The outdated, lubricated condoms had been sealed in plastic, and the change of air pressure during shipment had forced the lubricant out through the seams. With the Gift Show beginning the next day, my elbows deep in slimy key chains and my $5,000 payment deposited in Bangkok, I began to panic. I filled the bathtub with hot soapy water, dumped in my 10,000 key chains and began scrubbing.

My love affair with my product soon began to fade. The key chains would not come clean. No matter how much I scrubbed, they still felt as though a posse of banana slugs had just oozed over them. Two weeks later, a friend of mine flew to Thailand on vacation. Back with her went my key chains. A single American woman entering Thailand with 10,000 condoms. She said the customs officials were very accommodating.

The replacement shipment was slime-free. I soon began sales calls on buyers ranging from novelty shops and porno stores to gay rights groups and Planned Parenthood clinics&emdash;customers conspicuously absent from the cases I had studied at the Graduate School of Business. It became all too apparent that the condom key chain was no Pet Rock. My gross profit margin was tremendous, but overhead had driven me $13,000 in a hole that was getting deeper and darker. Retailers told me that what the customer really wanted was a key chain with a usable condom. Soon I had new key chains flying in from Thailand, each capable of holding a single condom. All I needed were 10,000 good prophylactics.

But most manufacturers weren't used to getting orders that large from a single individual. After being turned down by every supplier in the country, I began to have nightmares: I was endlessly in line at Walgreen's buying hundreds of Trojan "family packs." I would wake up wishing that I had followed my classmates into something simple and easy, like investment banking.

Finally, one small-scale manufacturer agreed to sell me the condoms I needed. Fame and fortune were, once again, within reach. Or so I thought.

Then came the fine-print details. According to the Food and Drug Administration, I needed to include a "how to use" guide with each key chain. I realized I needed insurance in case some fool inadvertently Bobbittized himself with my product during a drunken tryst. My conversations with countless insurance agents are among my more forgettable experiences in the business.

"I need product liability insurance," I would say.

"Sure," the agent would reply. "What's your product?"

"Condom key chains," I would answer.

"New market penetration?" the agent would say. This was funny, maybe, the first 10 times.

At long last I had insurance, instruction cards, adhesive logos and 10,000 condoms and key chains. I sat down at the dining room table to put them all together. Two hours later, with my fingers cut and bleeding, fewer than 100 key chains were ready for sale. As I sat there sinking deeper into debt and depression, the only thing I couldn't stop calculating was exactly how big an idiot I was.

Eventually, though, business picked up. People began buying my key chains. Small gift shops in small towns bought dozens and dozens and regularly reordered. I sold thousands to Planned Parenthood clinics&emdash;until I received their corporate counsel's certified letter ordering me to "cease and desist" using their "PP" logo or face immediate legal action. I called my friend.

"Congratulations," he said.

"Congratulations?" I said. "What are you talking about?"

"Hey!" he said. "You're not in business until somebody sues you."

Other customers were satisfied to a fault. There was the account in Houston that bought lots of minimum orders for cash. After several months they increased their order tenfold and asked for 30 days' credit. I sent the shipment and never heard from them again. I tried to recover my money and ultimately spent more than they owed me without collecting a dime.

A Bay Area gift shop used a similar technique on me just before Christmas. Desperate for sales, I sent the order. On December 26, the owner simply closed up shop and disappeared.

I learned a few other lessons during my two years as the king of condom key chains. One was that it's tough to get rich quick with a single item. I learned that a markup of 150 percent doesn't mean much when you're only making 75 cents per item. It took a lot of key chains bought at 50 cents and sold for $1.25 just to pay the phone bill. After selling more than 50,000 pieces, I was $10,000 poorer than when I began. When my inventory dropped below 500, I took the remainder to a local advocacy group for prostitutes.

"Do you think you could use these?" I said to the receptionist, who told me her name was Dark Star.

"Sure, baby," she said. "These are hilarious. You gonna give these to us? I bet you could sell thousands of them."

May 22, 2008

The Gay Bomb

In a document uncovered by the sunshine project (LINK), U.S. Air Force (LINK) research laboratory in Ohio in 1994 made a proposal to develop a variety of bombs of uncommon ordinance (at a cost of $7.5 million), including: [...Read more +/-]

  • a "flatulence bomb," which would stink so badly as to drive the enemy out of its hiding places;
  • a "sweat bomb," which would make the enemy sweat profusely;
  • a "halitosis bomb," which would plague soldiers with bad breath...
But, the coup de grĂ¢ce was the bomb now colloquially referred to as the "gay bomb." Using a hypothetical aphrodisiac of remarkable potency, the bomb would spray the enemy with a substance that would quite literally turn them gay, causing the soldiers to become "irresistibly attracted to one another" and, we can only assume, forget that they were in the process of being bombed..
If you want to read the entire report, click the (LINK) for a PDF version. You will need to have Adobe Reader (LINK) installed.

May 21, 2008

Ever wonder what happens when you dump a bucket of liquid nitrogen into a swimming pool?

If you don't, you know where to click [...Read more +/-]

5 New Yorkers who wear only one colour


Ever had those days when you just don't know what colour would look good on you? The universe is filled with a spectrum of colours - some O' so lovely and some we just dare not speak. So many choices and so limited budget. [click to read more +/-]


Anyhow, it's Spring Fashion 2008 and New York Magazine (LINK) caught up with 5 New Yorkers who think One is a lovely colour to stick with and thus end up wearing the same colour all day, every day (and it's not black).


First is, Valeria "ValBlu" McCulloch who is a Shoe Designer and wears Yves Klein blue [LINK1 | LINK2]. Look at her closet, feels like Niagara Falls.






Rebecca Turbow who is a Fashion Designer and wears only Gray [LINK1 | LINK2 | LINK3] . She's cute.






Karim Rashid [LINK1 | LINK2] who is an Industrial Designer and wears white half the time, and (wait for it....) pink half the time [LINK]. Pink??? Dude, pink???






Elizabeth Sweetheart who is a Fabric Designer and wears Kelly green (LINK). Sweetheart, someone is green with envy...








Stephin Merritt [LINK1] who is a Singer / Songwriter and wears brown [LINK]. I can only imagine your lyrics... give me some brown sugar..








I have a friend who once wore only shades of grey and black, but that was just a phase, I think. To each his own, I guess. So what's you favourite colour? And would you be willing to wear it all day, everyday for ever and ever...?



May 20, 2008

The conspiracy theory behind Facebook



And I was worried there for a sec...

Coca Cola - The Movie

This one is nice. I wonder which multiplex it will release to (LINK)?

Union Johnny

I just received an email and it just absolutely describes the UK's politics accurately: +/-


On the other side of Atlantic, the Federal Government of US of A is issuing tax rebates between $300 - $1,200 to its tax paying, law abiding Green Card (LINK) holders. But where to you think the money is going?
As the Email from Grandma (LINK) so nicely puts it:

  • If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China.
  • If we spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs.
  • If we purchase a computer it will go to India.
  • If we purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala.
  • If we purchase a good car it will go to Japan.
  • If we purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan … and none of it will help the American economy.
  • The only way to keep that money here at home is to buy prostitutes, weed, beer, and tattoos, since these are the only products still produced in the USA.
  • Thank you for your help & please support the USA!

May 16, 2008

Indian Dhamaal in Britain's Got Talent - Suleman Mirza and Madhu Singh

I just absolutely love this video. Suleman Mirza and Madhu Singh AKA Signature perform a tribute to Michael Jackson for their audition on Britain's Got Talent 2008. This was a standing ovation performance in London and just goes on to show what the Indian Dhamaal is all about!

Absolutely a must watch!! +/-




And if you like what you saw, here's a short clip from behind the stage(LINK).

May 15, 2008

Why I stopped reading newspapers

I have recently made a resolution that I will stop reading newspapers. And I will elaborate on my reasons: +/-





Firstly, is it my imagination or people are just dropping dead left, right and center. I always reasoned that no news is good news but lately the newspapers are obsessed with stories covering deaths and tragedies. Its like reading an elongated obituary every morning over a cuppa!

Worse, people are dying doing stupid things:

Man dies in spitting contest plunge (HERALD SUN LINK)
Father dies trying to recover toy (BBC LINK)
Secondly my decision will save trees (LINK LINK2). Less readers would mean less trees are cut for the paper used for newspapers and since I would be spending less money in buying them, less paper money would be printed too! Ka Ching!!

Thirdly, the news readers on the television are getting prettier every day. Why bore your eyes reading the print when you can watch and listen to your news at the same time (LINK).

And lastly, news is just a google away (LINK)!


Relationships and Statistics

I just realised that statistics and relationships can be very funny in an absurd sort of way. Let me elaborate.+/-



Nameless Girl called me today and that always leaves me excited. It has been ages since we last talked for hours and it almost felt like forever since she went on her trip Down Under. And like usual she went on and on with short pauses.

This time she went on and on about the Opera House in Sydney (LINK1 LINK2) and the magnificent hotels like Palazzo Versace (LINK) and of the Hamilton Islands (LINK). Then finally when she came up from her snorkelling to catch her breath, she gave me her mind on what she thinks about relationships.

She is of the view that for a relationship to succeed there should be fire from the very beginning - its either love at first sight or just close the book and say goodnight. In plain truth if the ostriches do not jump in the belly - there is no happily ever after. Then she just went on about her eyebrows...

Sitting back, I am not sure that I would agree with her. Frankly speaking I think relationships are a bit over rated and if I were to give a monkey a banana, I would suggest that relationships are like just statistics - you make up what you want them to be (LINK). Love or whatever you want to call those chemical imbalances in your body can truly be a magical experience if you find the right person to share it with and I hope that everyone find their true soul mates. But sadly if statistics has anything to do with it and Russia too, 80% of marriages will end up in a divorce (LINK)! I am not sure where they have got their statistics from, but:

More and more Russians who got married, come back to the registry office to divorce. The current ratio of marriages to divorces in Russia is 1000:800. Less number of children are born: there were 36 million children in Russia in 1989, currently we have only 26.3 million children.
I am not sure what the declining number of children being born has to with marriages (come on its Russia we are talking about here!) Anyhow my point was that even though 8 marriages end up in a divorce I still believe Nameless Girl is wrong. There is no way I am going to believe that just because no fireworks happened in the beginning, its time to go to the court house tomorrow and just spill it out: Talak , Talak and Talak (LINK)! (I can see the scorn in her eyes...)

In my defence and the point I was trying to make to the Nameless Girl was that you have to work on your relationships sometimes. And also in reply to a post by the famous (LINK) Rebellious Arab Girl (LINK) sure you might get bored, but try to jump start your relationships whenever it stops working for you. Give some take some and I think life will just breeze through. Everyday is not a Sunday, and if all else fails, Nameless Girl there is always an extra air ticket to the Kiwi land!

And to end on a favourable note, The New York Times agrees with me that divorce rate is not as high as you think (LINK)! Like I said statistics is what you want to make it.

May 14, 2008

Sexual Harassment

No matter what Harry or Susan says, there is always an element of sexual tension whenever the opposite sexes work together - no matter how big a hermit you claim to be. But where do we draw the line where it is not flirting and just plain Sexual Harassment as Michael Douglas found the hard way in Disclosure? +/-

UK recently passed new laws (LINK LINK2) to protect employees from sexual harassment. According to the amendments, the employers are now responsible to protect the welfare employees sexuality. What does that mean? Bring in the Marshall Law and put on the Big Brother policy at work? So is the employer supposed to be putting his energies to make the firm profitable or babysitting horny adults?

Interestingly, The Employment Equality (Sex Discrimination) Regulations 2005 amend the Sex Discrimination Act 1975 to provide that a person subjects a woman to harassment, including sexual harassment, if:

(a) on the ground of her sex, he engages in unwanted conduct that has the purpose or effect –

(i) of violating her dignity, or

(ii) of creating an intimidating, hostile, degrading, humiliating or offensive environment for her,

(b) he engages in any form of unwanted verbal, non-verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature that has the purpose or effect—

(i) of violating her dignity, or

(ii) of creating an intimidating, hostile, degrading, humiliating or offensive environment for her, or

(c) on the ground of her rejection of or submission to unwanted conduct of a kind mentioned in paragraph (a) or (b), he treats her less favourably than he would treat her had she not rejected, or submitted to, the conduct.

But that is just my argument. The laws are there to protect the female gender. In this world of equality and all (LINK), who is there to protect the males, as we see in this clip:


Pelvic Power Lifting

Are we seeing this in the Chinese Olympics:




May 13, 2008

Desperado

I always thought of burglary as a crime but I never knew until recently that the British Police considered burglary as a profession and demanded professionalism from them (LINK). But you must admit the burglars must be darn desperate for beers to cause that much havoc to the shop! Bargain Booze sure did not bargain for this mess! Maybe the burglars thought it was a beer-drive-in...


When I moved to UK, I always thought the British to be a bit eccentric, but never thought someone would actually cut his car in half (VIDEOLINK STORYLINK STORYLINK2 STORYLINK3) to make a point to the nasty DVLA who clamped his untaxed Ford Fiesta. Ian Taylor hats off to you, but would you have been crazy enough to do the same if it were a Mercedes S Class and not your banged up Ford Fiesta?



May 12, 2008

Honourable Bullshit!

Warning: one or two links are graphical and caution is advised.

With stupidity alive and kicking like this (LINK1 LINK2 LINK3 LINK4 LINK5 LINK6), I think people like these deserved someone like Saddam Hussein (LINK1, LINK2, LINK3) to rule over them. I just loathe such imbeciles who justify their ignorance in the name of religion. It is tough living as a Muslim (LINK1, LINK2) in the Western world (LINK) as it is with idiots like them acting like ambassadors of Islam (LINK1 LINK2 LINK3) adding further ignorance to the fire. To make matters worse is The Guardian (LINK) was most worried that
"...she died a virgin..."
I think the icing on the cake would be that their saviours from tyranny brought more headaches than they bargained for (LINK1 LINK2 LINK3 LINK4 LINK5 LINK6 LINK7).

"Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." — Albert Einstein

May 9, 2008

Thank God for democracy

I hate when politics interfere with the greater good of its people (LINK). But then again Burma or as they say, Union of Myanmar (LINK) is not a democratic country.


I guess thanks are in order that I am lucky to be living in a democratic country where even though its being governed by imbeciles - at least I can sleep peacefully in the night with the thought that I was the one who voted to get them elected in the first place.

So, did you vote lately?