The Waiting Room

Lonliness and the sheer boredom of sitting in the hospital waiting room can put strange thoughts in your head. You can only so much flip into the decade old magazines on the coffee table before committing each and every page to memory. One only need to look out the room to see his or her miserable future walking with bottles of liquids whose names you cannot pronounce, tubes danglining down your bottoms wearing a bio-degradable gown slit from behind. And don't even let me get to the black hairy asses on display for others. There were few white asses too... but that is not what I wanted to write about. At least now.

Such is the human cycle of life that you start with the hospital room (atleast the decent few of us) and you end up in the hospital room. So, I guess the crux of your whole existence is to make the most of it in between hospitals... you either eat, sleep and be merry or you eat, sleep and don't be merry.

Its been over 48 hours now, and still no good news (actually no news at all) about the condition of the old man from the ICU. I was not there when my father passed away, a little regret I've been carrying for a long time now. May be it is because of this that I have been sitting in the waiting room staring at the ceiling straight without food and shower. Actually thinking of food only made me sick, so it was no big deal I guess. And it is actually when you stare at the ceiling for so long, that delusions begin to set in. You drift into the concious sleep of dreams and nightmares. Of hope and fear.

What if there is heaven and hell? Angels and Demons? God? I always believed in God. But then you wonder was it because I was taught to do so or because I really, really, REALLY believed in him. Is all the wars over religion fought because men believed in the Almighty? Is the so called terrorism in the name of religion really for a castle in paradise or for some twisted little political agenda? What do I believe?

Love. Hate. Hope. Happiness. Sad. Jealousy. Fear. Guilt. Remorse. What are these but mere words or feelings that will describe your existence over the few decades. What is the purpose of existence when there is always an end to it? Where is the strength to be immortal coming from? What is the purpose of this existence, if this is what you call it?

Why this, why that... the questions whirls in your mind so fast and confuses you so much that you think, "Am I going mad? Do I need to be in the loony bin?"

Exhausted, mentally and physically from sitting on those back-aching chairs - considering the ordeal one has to go through, NHS should really consider investing in some decent chairs for the waiting families - I am sipping my first sip of machine coffee in 2 days...

So till the old man recovers from his strain... its back to those magazines and my thoughts...

Heartaches

I always wondered what was down the whirlpool. How can events so small create forces so strong that it can suck even the most mighty in its belly? What lies beneath the blue ocean? Is there any peace there? For I am a tormented soul restless in search of tranquility.

Days seem a drag nowdays. Nights are sleepless nightmares. Each new face that I come across is a mirror of my deeds. Their eyes filled with hatred for me. Their hearts empty with love for me. Never have I felt so alone in a crowd filled with family and friends. Never have I sat alone in the hospital waiting room anxious for someone to come and tell me its all over.

I was a born loner as far as I can remember. I was never the soul of the party nor the subject of any hot gossips. I preferred to live my life as the average kid round the block. Me to my own. But suddenly I am thrown into the ring with lime light on my face. I am made to sit on the throne meant for someone else. The dish served on the platter. The face that each finger points. I am the guy who is the cause for everyone to be present here at two in the morning with eyes waiting for the doctor to come out of the ICU any moment.

When the caterpillar finally emerges into a butterfly it is the most amazing and breath taking moment. It is the beauty in which nature juggles the delicate balance of life that attracts me. The turmoil of the catterpillar is finally over. It is finally free to fly away where its heart desires. As I sit here alone in the waiting room, all I can think is when will all this be over and finally get to fly away where my heart desires.

The room is empty and cold like everyones faces. It is as if I do not exist. I am the social outcast. They do not say it, but you can see it on their faces and trembling lips. Everyone blames me for the old man's heart attack. And sadly, it is the truth.

I never ever cared what people thought of me. To each his own. Bugger off for all I cared. But little did I know that family and society matters. My game has turned into a monopoly where no matter what dices I roll, I end up in jail without passing Go. While I sit here with my head dropped in shame and my eyes filled with tears of remorse, the old man is possibly fighting to take a breath. The old man is my uncle and quite possibly the only ally I have in this current crisis.

If only the clock could be turned back - for with each tick the urge to stab myself to death grows stronger. I do not know what lies ahead of me now. What am I going to do? For all I can do is wait for the doctor to come out of the ICU...

Choices...

I can wait for her phone call or I can get my work done…

I can sit and drool over her memories or I can take that long overdue shower…

I can ogle all day over her photos on Orkut or get out for some fresh air...

I can gorge on all the junk food lying around depressed or I can go to gym and get those calories off…

I can wish that we would be together again or I can just face the reality of it never happening and get on with my life…

Choices, choices, choices...



Mean while in the parallel universe…

Do I curl my hair or straighten them?

Do I go to Starbucks or that new place which serves the Chocolate ice cream?

Do I wear the green sari or go for the western look?

Do I take the car or ask the driver to drop me?

Choices, choices, choices...

Friends Indeed

Times have been hard and trying for me lately, because of the ripple effect that my breakup has caused. However, I thought I would have my friends to rely on... after all the true testing time for friendship comes when your buddy is down in drain...

Apparently, my friends seem to have forgotten the sacred rules of friendship.

Mind you after my recent experience I should have realised that people change in seconds once you have nothing to offer them. Can't blame them. For someone who would feel like fish without water if I did not call... suddenly got no time! I guess those tanks were finally built where fishes can live out of water... So *uck (with the Capital F) you too!

Then there are those miserable sods who for the sake of not being rude gives you an occasional miss call or drop in from their busy schedules to say the pleasantries... assholes I do not want you or your pity calls! So stop bugging me!

Like I said... friends in need are friends indeed!

Bullocks! - Who needs friends anyway?

Sigh!

Chaos Theory

Life is a crazy thing to be in. Each moment is like being on a roller coaster - going high filled with love and excitement and then come crashing down to misery and depression.

Guess what?

Sleep deprived, depression filled I am really sucking at life at this moment.

सोया था में चैन से

सोया था में चैन से
आवाज जो तेरी आई कहीं से
हवा के झोके की तरह आई तू हर तरफ से
होश मेरे तू उदा गई चुपके से
दीवाना बाना गई तू अपनी बातों से
चैन उदा गई मेरा तू अपनी हसी से
रुके न रुकी तू अपनी मुहब्बत से
बाज न आई तू लाख समजाने से
गलती थी मेरी, कैसे बताये आप से
आज गिर गया में सबकी नजरो से
और आप छोड़ चले मुझे आपकी शादी की खबर से
बर्बादी मुझे नजर आये अपनी हर सु से
क्या कहू में आप से
गलती थी मेरी, कैसे छुपाये ये सब से

TECHNORATI KEYWORDS: ME ME ME, HINDI POEM, LOVE, DREAMZUNLIMITED, SAJID PATEL

Withdrawl Symptoms

Coming out of a relationship in my opinion is no different than coming out of an addiction. You suffer withdrawal symptoms. The longer the addiction, the painful the withdrawal.

I wish their were patches for relationships like they have nicotine patches for smokers... life would have been lot simpler and the withdrawal less painful.

Ah! The wishes I wish, the dreams I dream.

Sniff.

TECHNORATI KEYWORDS: LOVE, DREAMZUNLIMITED, SAJID PATEL

Ai Zindagi, bewafaa tu nikli

Aaj kisi ne muh pe zor se maara tamacha
Kar ke apna status change
Dard dena hi tha
To kyun di aasha?
Jaan leni hi thi
To zindagi kyun thi bachaai?
Tha mein khush tere bina…
Zindagi mein aake kyun pareshaani badaai?
Jaa to jee apni zindagi
Swear palat ke bhi yaad na karunga tuje!
Yaad aayegi to kahunga dil se
Jisse ki tune wafaa,
Aaaj woh hi bewafaa ho gai!

Tags: ME ME ME, POEM, A SAD DAY

Meri Ajeeb hai khaani

Meri ajeeb hai kahaani
Muje khud ko aaye na samaj…
Jisko chaahta tha mein
Ho gai kisi aur ki aaj!


Kal tak the uske wade pakke
Aaaj ek pal mein toot gaye
Yahaan meri jaan jaaye
Wahaan kisi aur ko who anguthi pehnaaye


Meri ajeeb hai daastaan
Kisko jaake mei sunaau?
Jisko chaahta tha mein
Ho gai kisi aur ki aaj!


Kal tak thi lammbi lambi kahaaniyaan
Phone pe ganto khaati thi meri jaan
Aaaj mere tadapne per bhi
Phone se nahi aai koi aawaaj!


Meri ajeeb hai kahaani
Muje khud ko aaye na samaj…
Jisko chaahta tha mein
Ho gai kisi aur ki aaj!

Tags: POEM, A SAD DAY, ME ME ME

Every dog has its day

Once suicide was out of the question, junk food was the only shoulder that I could lean on in this most testing and depressing moment of my life.

But after days (I lost count ages ago) of self pity and brooding in my own saliva, the Dominoes finally gave up into a state of stale, shrivelled up fungi infected bread which even the rats now refuse to relish. The famous chocolate Ben & Jerry’s now adorn the once green carpet into waves of brown glory goo as painted by the child Picasso himself. Like the Alps, my furniture lay covered in layers of crisps and chocolate bar wrappers. In the middle of this grand remodelled sty I was stupedified like a radish on a wedding cake staring at the spider on the ceiling. I am hazy on the details or the rules, but I am sure the game was to stare each other to death. I was winning until spidey decided to cheat and run after the fly that got caught in its web. Traitor.

Bored, depressed, lonely (the underlying words defining my life) I ended up driving miles in the middle of nowhere. 100 miles per hour, music blaring, finger on her speed dial - I debated with my flawed logic to call her. Next thing I know bright lights flashing on my eyes and the car started dancing the jig and airbags blew into my face. These things hit you so hard you wonder at times whether it was meant to save you or take your life away.

Sadly still alive, but now stranded, (bored, depressed and lonely too) I walked into the darkness until I stood staring at this old English pub.

Since I don’t booze, smoke or sniff (all of which now sounds enticing) I was fish out of water when the bar-tender leaned forward and pushed his lean mean moustachy face onto me asking what I’d like.

“I’d like to forget everything”, I grunted.

He laughed. My neighbours raised their glasses and yelled, “Cheers!”

Misery loves company and I was in the right place. I sat there taking shots of concentrated tomato juice in these cute tequila glasses surrounded by stories miseries, yelling and cursing. I was finally among friends.

When Barney (or at least he looked like him) gave me a lift home in the wee hours of the morning told me what brings me back to the title of this post, “You see, Saj don’t you worry, every dog has its day!”

I looked at him with the “it doesn’t make sense” face, when he narrates this story:

A man walks into a bar and sits down next to a lady and a dog. The man asks, "Does your dog bite?" The lady answers, "Never!" The man reaches out to pet the dog and the dog bites him. The man says, "I thought you said your dog doesn't bite!" The woman replies, "He doesn't. This isn't my dog.

“You see, Saj think about it, every dog has its day!”

I am still in the state of depression “stayed” over so don’t ask me the philosophical significance of his statement. Let me know what you make of it, while I call the AA to get my car towed and get back to my depression in peace with a ice pack on my bruised face.

Great! Adding to my woes, the weekend is over too.

God I hate Mondays!

TECHNORATI KEYWORDS: ME ME ME, SAD STORY, DEPRESSION, DREAMZUNLIMITED, SAJID PATEL

P.S. I Love You

My dearest darling,

How I wish I could be there sitting right beside you just now. How I wish you’d blow in my ears as you used to and how I wish I could tickle you all up right now. How I wish I could hear your voice right now.

May be wishes are all I have left now. May be this is what I deserve.

I do not if you will ever get the chance to read this, but I really do miss you. I did not understand what missing someone meant until right this very moment in time. I knew this day would eventually come where you would bid me farewell. I tried to prepare myself all this time - to be heartless so that I may never experience the pain. But I just can’t help but feel this pain. Missing you is taking my breath away, and you know what happens to someone who stops breathing...

Each passing moment brings back memories that we shared. Your laughter echoes in the silence. Your face floats in the air. Your smell fragrances the room. Each moment I am missing you more than the previous.

I would have begged on my knees to you to come back but I know no amount of pleading is going to change what has happened between us.

I am glad that I got the chance to know a sweet and dear person like you. I am just grateful for all the happy times we shared together. I promise you that I shall treasure those precious moments for as long this life takes me.

I just wish you the very best in life and all the happiness that life can offer you.

With love,

Only yours...

P.S. I love you and will continue to do.

TECHNORATI KEYWORDS: LOVE, ME ME ME, DREAMZUNLIMITED, SAJID PATEL

O Romeo, where art thou?

When Romeo first laid eyes upon Juliet, their death was imminent. Bard knew it. You and I knew it. Everyone just knew it.

They had to die to be immortal in the hearts of every archetypal of young lovers all over the world. Just who talks of Cinderella or Snow White whenever a great love story has to be told? Ahem! No one does, except maybe only Disney.

Yup, the old fashioned suicide was the only option Romeo & Juliet had – even though they did it not knowing the complete truth – their heart was in the right place. So I guess, it counts.

Then there is always the option to back away out of the picture to let the other live in the perception of happiness. The Indian way.

But this too is totally unacceptable for the success of the immortal story for three reasons:

1. Less dramatic if no one dies. And there is always the remote possibility that they just might meet again some rainy day (and you know rainy days in India are – wet saris and all) – they just start up a grand affair! And that is always bad...
   
2. If one of them decide and did choose to end one’s life (and therefore remove all traces of future adultery) - the guy will eventually kill himself by liver failure due to too much drinking on the girl’s in-laws porch after a 10 minute sad song (...bad again for future happiness and reputation of the girl's character at the in-laws). And in the case of the girl – she would jump off the bridge into the Ganges – which sadly is so polluted now that you might as well die from its pungent smell (apparently cyanide is for the villains only).
3. And let’s say if the Mission ‘S’ was a success, Indian mythology of afterlife would have me believe that one of them might end up alive again as a centipede or something. Ugh! Not to mention a sad ending to a very sad story.
   

But, sadly, I can’t help being an Indian even though I only visited the country on my summer holidays. Never the less, I do not believe in the concept of taking one’s life either. It is only meant for losers and suckers of foolhardy propaganda. Unless of course the Mafia or the CIA (Call It Anything – they’re still crooks as far as I can tell) is on my back – this way I get to chose the most efficient and merciful way out (even though it may be rudimentary). And thankfully since they have no reason to be on my back - sucide is not an option for me.

So, where does that leave me? Hmm.

While I loathe here depressed with my miserable story on the sofa watching reruns of all the romantic tragedies and gorging on “that’s gonna add another 20 kgs” I have a faint hope shimmering somewhere.

Who knows, I just might end up having that affair after all!

TECHNORATI KEYWORDS: A SAD STORY, ME ME ME, DREAMZUNLIMITED, SAJID PATEL

Christmas Party Post

It's time for one those famous Craig List specials again. This one is about the diversity at the work place and how its affecting us in one way or the other. It's funny as heck:

*******************************

Subject: Christmas Party
From: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
To: All Employees
Date: 4th November
RE: Christmas Party

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks!
We'll have a small band playing traditional carols… please feel free to sing along.

And don't be surprised if the Managing Director shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit a 1:00pm.

Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets.
This gathering is only for employees! The Managing Director will make a special announcement at the Party. Merry Christmas to you and your Family.

Pauline

*******************************

Subject: Christmas Party
From: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
To: All Employees
Date: 5th November
RE: Holiday Party

In now way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our 'Holiday Party'… The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians. There will be no Christmas tree or Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.

Happy now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family.

Pauline


*******************************

From: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
To: All Employees
Date: 6th November
RE: Holiday Party


Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table… you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sing on a table that reads, "AA Only," you wouldn't be anonymous anymore!!! How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody?

Forget about the gift exchange, no gift exchange allowed now since the Union Officials feel that $10.00 is too much money and Management believe $10.00 is a little cheap.

NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.

Pauline



*******************************

From: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
To: All Employees
Date: 7th November
RE: Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, Which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs, perhaps the Gill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party – or else package everything up for you take home in a little foil doggy bag. Will that work?

Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the toilets. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with gay men; each will have their own table.

Yes, there will be flower arrangements for the gay men's table, too.

To the person asking permission to cross dress – no cross dressing allowed.

We will have booster seats for short people. Low fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food. We suggest those people with hight blood pressure taste the food first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply "No sugar" desserts. Sorry!

Did I miss anything?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Pauline


*******************************

From: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
To: All F****** Employees
Date: 8th November
RE: the F****** Holiday Party

Vegetarian pricks I've had it with you people!!! We're going tot keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it. You'll get your f****** salad bar, including organic tomatoes, but you knows tomatoes have feeling, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW!!

Hope you all have a rotten holiday *drink, drive and die!

The Bitch from HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


*******************************

From: John Bishop – Acting Human Resources Director
Date: 9th November

RE: Pauline Lewis and Holiday Party

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pauline Lewis a speedy recovery, and I'll continue to forward your cards to her.

In the meantime, Management has decided to conceal our Holiday Party and instead, give everyone the afternoon of the 23 rd December off with full pay.

Sources: 1 |

TECHNORATI KEYWORDS: CRAIG'S LIST, FUNNIES, DREAMZUNLIMITED, SAJID PATEL

Exploding Money

Is it me or the world is going crazier with each passing second. I just stumbled upon a news article on the prisonplanet.com (don't even think about asking what I was doing there in the middle of the night!). The article was about $20 bills 'popping' or 'exploding' in certain microwaves after the bills were RFID tagged.

RFID was a hush-hush project of the European Central Bank back in the good old days to embed radio frequency identification tags into the very fibres of euro bank notes. This measure was meant to be an added security on top of the existing security features as holograms, foil stripes, special threads, microprinting, special inks and watermarks.

The basic technology building blocks for RFID on bank notes are similar to those required for today's smart labels or contactless cards. They require a contactless data link that can automatically collect information about a product, place, time or transaction.

It all sounds so 'wow' and all that - but what I still don't get it is why in the Lord's name would you want to put your hard earned money into the microwave for!!!

Anyways, here some pics of 'exploding' monies which I'm sure you'd been waiting for:

PICTURE 1 | PICTURE 2 | PICTURE 3

Sources: 1 | 2

TECHNORATI KEYWORDS: AMERICANS ARE NOT STUPID, FUNNIES, MONEY, DREAMZUNLIMITED, SAJID PATEL

Dummies Guide to choosing between PC, PS3, XBOX 360 or Wii?

Do you love playing video games? Have you ever been hit with the dilemma of which game console to buy? Well here is a very simple yet accurate guide on what video game system is right for you:

sources: 1 | 2

Tags: PS3, XBOX, PC, WII, DUMMIES GUIDE, XBOX 360, PLAYSTATION

DO NOT DO THIS AT HOME

What is with some people that they have to describe their intelligence by doing things which apparently seems to defy the laws of physics? Here's one of those rare breeds in action:

Guys do not try this at home. But if you do, send me a pic.

Sources: 1 |

TECHNORATI KEYWORDS: AMERICANS ARE NOT STUPID, FUNNY, DREAMZUNLIMITED, SAJID PATEL

SOUTH KOREA'S FIRST SATELLITE - LOST IN SPACE

Apparently I thought the world is a massive place and its easy to lose things. Well at least that's how I used to console myself whenever I lost something. Now I guess, in this age of space exploration, its easier to lose more than your pencil sharpeners - South Korea somehow managed to lose its first satellite, Arrirang 1.

The satellite, which was launched December 21st, 1999, is suspected of having encountered a mechanical malfunction or misalignment which would have affected power generation. "If the satellite loses proper alignment, its solar panels cannot generate power that is vital for the machine," said an "expert" -- which the source material suspiciously won't name -- which further reinforces our belief that the satellite was appropriated by an alien lifeform, for use in a bizarre mating ritual.

Sources: 1 | 2

TECHNORATI KEYWORDS: SATELLITE, ARRIRANG1, SOUTH KOREA, ARRIRANG 1, SOUTHKOREA, DREAMZUNLIMITED, SAJID PATEL

VIAGRA FOR IMPOTENT CARS

Toe Knee spotted an ad for Car Repair shop near his residence. Needless to say, if any "imported" car ever did make it to ARA Motors. How did they propose to "ripair" the "impotent" car anyway - giving it Viagra?

And I thought I was bad at spellings.

Sources: 1 |

TECHNORATI KEYWORDS: THIS IS INDIA, FUNNY, DREAMZUNLIMITED, SAJID PATEL

IF I CONTROLLED THE INTERNET

What if you had the power to control the internet?

How many poets could cram eBay, Friendster and Monster.com into 3-minute poem worthy of a standing ovation? "If I were in charge of the Internet," Rives says, "You could Mapquest your lover's mood swings / Hang left at cranky / Right at preoccupied / U-turn at silent treatment ..."

Enjoy a unique talent:

Sources: 1 |

TECHNORATI KEYWORDS: YOU TUBE, THIS IS INTERESTING, TED, DREAMZUNLIMITED, SAJID PATEL

NOW THATS WHAT I CALL A SALESMAN

A young guy from Virginia moves to California and goes to a big department store looking for a job. The manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?"

The kid says, "Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Virginia."

The boss liked the kid, so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."

His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many sales did you make today?"

The kid says, "One."

The boss says, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for?"

Kid says, "$101,237.64."

Boss says, "$101,237.64? What did you sell him?"

Kid says, "First I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fish hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing, and he said down at the coast, so I told him he was gonna need a boat, so we went down to the boat department, and I sold him that twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4X4 Blazer."

The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and truck?"

Kid says, "No, he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Well, since your weekend's shot, you might as well go fishing.'"

Sources: 1

TECHNORATI TAGS: SALES, MARKETING, DREAMZUNLIMITED, SAJID PATEL

DARK VADER IN LOVE [STAR WARS PARODY]

This has got to be the best parody I’ve seen in a long long while. I literally lol’d many times.

1

Tags: dark vader, humor, parody, star wars, dreamzunlimited, sajid patel

CRAZY FACTS I DID NOT KNOW ABOUT... (PART 2)

- Barbie's full name is Barbara Milicent Roberts.

- It is impossible to lick your elbow.

- A crocodile can't stick its tongue out.

- A shrimp's heart is in their head.

- People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, you're heart stops for a mili-second.

- In a study of 200,000 ostriches over a period of 80 years, no one reported a single case where an ostrich buried its head in the sand (or attempted to do so).

- It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.

- A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.

- Between 1937 and 1945 Heinz produced a version of Alphabetti Spaghetti especially for the German market that consisted solely of little pasta swastikas.

- By law, every child in Belgium must take harmonica lessons at Primary school.

- On average, a human being will have sex more than 3,000 times and spend two weeks kissing in their lifetime.

- More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call.

- Rats and horses can't vomit.

- The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.

- If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.

- Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over a million descendants.

- Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

- If the government has no knowledge of aliens, then why does Title 14, Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations, implemented on July 16, 1969, make it illegal for U.S. citizens to have any contact with extraterrestrials or their vehicles?

- In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.

- The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

- Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.

- A duck's quack doesn't echo anywhere, and no one knows why.

- 23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their buttocks.

- In the course of an average lifetime you will, while sleeping, eat 70 assorted insects and 10 spiders.

- Most lipstick contains fish scales.

- Cat's urine glows under a black light.

- Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.

- If you keep your eyes open by force, they will pop out.

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Tags: crazy facts, dreamzunlimited, sajid patel

ESPRESSO SIMPLIFIED

Espresso-based coffee has a wide variety of possible presentations. In its most basic form, it is served alone as a "shot" or in the more watered down style café américano — a shot or two of espresso with hot water. The Americano should be served with the espresso shots on top of the hot water to preserve the crema. Milk can be added in various forms to espresso: steamed milk makes a caffè latte, equal parts espresso and milk froth make a cappuccino, and a dollop of hot, foamed milk on top creates a caffè macchiato.

Here's a chart simplifying the various possible presentations of espresso based coffee:

It should be noted that the styles may vary from region to region.

FUN TRIVIA ABOUT COFFEE YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW:

1. If you like your espresso coffee sweet, you should use granulated sugar, which dissolves more quickly, rather than sugar cubes; white sugar rather than brown sugar or candy; and real sugar rather than sweeteners which alter the taste of the coffee.
2. "Cowboy coffee"? It was said they made their coffee by putting ground coffee into a clean sock and immerse it in cold water and heated over campfire. When ready, they would pour the coffee into tin cups and drink it.
3. Caffeine is on the International Olympic Committee list of prohibited substances. Athletes who test positive for more than 12 micrograms of caffeine per milliliter of urine may be banned from the Olympic Games. This level may be reached after drinking about 5 cups of coffee. Ouch! Any coffee athletics out there?
4. The word "coffee" was at one time a term for wine, but was later used to describe a black drink made from berries of the coffee tree. This black drink replaced wine in many religious ceremonies because it kept the Mohammedans awake and alert during their nightly prayers, so they honored it with the name they had originally given to wine.
5. The word 'cappuccino' is the result of several derivations, the original of which began in 16th century. The Capuchin order of friars, established after 1525, played an important role in bringing Catholicism back to Reformation Europe. Its Italian name came from the long, pointed cowl, or cappuccino, derived from cappuccio, "hood," that was worn as part of the order's habit. The French version of cappuccino was capuchin, from which came English Capuchin. In Italian cappuccino went on to describe espresso coffee mixed or topped with steamed milk or cream, so called because the color of the coffee resembled the color of the habit of a Capuchin friar. The first use of cappuccino in English is recorded in 1948 in a work about San Francisco. There is also the story line that says that the term comes from the fact that the coffee is dark, like the monk's robe, and the cap is likened to the color of the monk's head.
6. Both the American Revolution and the infamous French Revolution were born in coffee houses. The American Revolution grew from roots planted by patriots in the Green Dragon (some say it was the Green Lion) Public House in the Lloyd's District of London. The infamous French Revolution happened in 1789 when the Parisians, spurred on by Camille Desmoulins's verbal campaign, took to the streets and two days later the Bastille fell, marking the overthrow of the French Government and changing France forever.
7. When the beans reaches the temperature of 400F during the roasting process, the beans "crack." The bean develop oils in a process called pyolysis. The outer part of the beans darkens. When the beans "crack" a second time, the hot beans are then dumped from the roaster and cooled immediately, usually with cold air. During the process of roasting coffee beans, coffee oil gathers in pockets throughout the bean. This substance is forced out to the surface of the beans of darker roasts, as moisture is lost. Hence the bean has this oily appearance.
8. Coffee beans are graded in various ways. Example: Kenya coffees are graded as A, B and C. AA is the best coffee. In Costa Rica, coffees are graded as Strictly Hard Bean, Good Hard Bean, Hard Bean, Medium Hard Bean, High Grown Atlantic, Medium Grown Atlantic, and Low Grown Atlantic. Those coffee beans from Colombia are labeled as "Supremo" "Excelso", "Extra" and the lowest grade, "Pasilla".
9. Turkish bridegrooms were once required to make a promise during their wedding ceremonies to always provide their new wives with coffee. If they failed to do so, it was grounds for divorce! (Ouch!)
10. The Italians drink their espresso with sugar, the Germans and Swiss - with equal parts of hot chocolate, the Mexicans - with cinnamon, the Belgians - with chocolate. Moroccans drink their coffee with peppercorns, the Ethiopians - with a pinch of salt. Coffee drinkers in the Middle East usually add cardamom and spices. Whipped cream is the favourite amongst Austrians. The Egyptians are extremely fond of pure and strong coffee. They seldom add sugar to it, nor milk nor cream. They serve unsweeteened coffee to mourners and sweetened coffee at weddings. The Italians are the unrivaled World Masters of Espresso.
11. Special studies conducted about the human body revealed it will usually absorb up to about 300 milligrams of caffeine at a given time. About 4 normal cups. Additional amounts are just cast off, providing no further stimulation. Also, the human body dissipates 20% of the caffeine in the system each hour.
12. In Yugoslavia, small coffee places are known as kafano, where the owners takes your order, brew and serve you coffee. It is usually served in a long-handled open pot known as devza (that should be cezva, pronounced "keffa." In Turkey it's called an Ibrik), and the coffee is poured into tiny demitasse-type cups. This is like an espresso, but it has the full impart of caffeine. Done right, it rewards the drinker with a remarkable coffee experience.
13. Espresso has 1/3 of the caffeine of a regular cup of coffee.
14. One time in Germany, the government hired a special force known as Kaffee Schnufflers, to sniff out illicit coffee roasters and smugglers. It was an intense campaign brought about by King Frederick who did not believe that coffee-drinking soldiers can be depended upon. Fortunately he failed for he too loved coffee.
15. During the American Civil War the Union soldiers were issued eight pounds of ground roasted coffee as part of their personal ration of one hundred pounds of food. And they had another choice: ten pounds of green coffee beans.
16. Cafe Procope was the first true Paris coffeehouse. It was opened in 1689 by a former lemonade vendor, Francois Procope. The cafe faces the Theatre Francais, where it drew the artists and actors of the day.
17. At one time in England, certain merchants were angered when coffee was introduced. Those selling ale and wine felt threatened when coffee became more popular. They even launched a campaign to persuade Charles II to issue an order to suppress coffeehouses. Fortunately, public outcry forced the order to be retracted. That was on January 8, 1675.
18. Kolschitzky, a Polish, opened Vienna's first coffeehouse, the Blue Bottle. He even saved the beans from the flames when the Turkish troops who left them were fleeing from the city.
19. In the homes of the Bedouins, coffee is generally served plain with ginger or cardamom. It gives off a yellow color and a very sweet taste. Sometimes ginger is added instead of cardamom. The Bedouins would greet the guest in honour with "Allah wa Sablan", meaning, "My home is your home".
20. Ugandans mix green beans with sweet grasses and various spices, dry them, and then wrap these in grass packets, which were then hung in their homes. It serves as talisman and as decoration.
21. Coffee most exacting rite of passage is known as "cupping" or cuptasting. It is the act of assessing the qualities of a particular batch of beans by freshly roasting, brewing, and tasting it. It is the work for serious and talented professionals.
22. Coffee berries start as green berries in early stage of growth, turns yellow, red, then dark crimson when it is finally ripe and yields the best coffee. In fact, according to the rule of "FIVE": Arabica coffee plant takes about "FIVE" years to mature and produce its first crop. A healthy coffee tree will produce only about "FIVE" pounds of green beans per year, but only about "ONE-FIFTH" of a pound meets the rigid sorting standards to be sold as "Specialty Coffee."
23. We say coffee beans although they are really berries.
24. Dorothy Jones of Boston was the first American coffee trader. It was in 1670 that she was granted a license to sell coffee.
25. Japan is now the third largest consumer of coffee. They even know to improve their skin, and reduce wrinkles, by bathing in coffee grounds that were fermented with pineapple pulp. Amazing! Beats mud-bathing.
26. Crema is a golden-browish foam that covers a freshly brewed cup of espresso. It is only made by a high-pressured method of extraction. An even thicker layer of crema also helps keep the heat and aroma of espresso. Enjoy!
27. "Expresso is not a word; it comes from the same root as "express" as in "The Express Train." The term is ESPRESSO. It comes from the Latinate root for "Press", or "Under Pressure". In many places if you order "expresso", you will be politely ignored.
28. 28. In Greece and Turkey, it is the custom that the eldest is served coffee first.
29. Espresso macchiato is a cup of espresso "marked" with a spoonful of the foam from steamed milk, whereas latte macchiato is a cup of steamed milk "marked" with a small dash of espresso.
30. During the American Civil War, when coffee was scarce, the citizens of New Orleans used chicory as substitutes. Today, they would have their coffee with chicory, which is mixed with quantity of strong black coffee and hot, rich milk.
31. There is a difference between the strength and body of the coffee? The strength of the coffee refers to how much coffee is there in the brew, whereas the body is a measure of the richness (or heaviness) of the coffee taste.
32. In the coffee world, "excelso" or "supremo" do not indicate the quality of the beans, but rather, the size of the beans.
33. Vacuum pot brewer was invented by a Scottish engineer, Robert Napier, in about 1840. It has two glass or metal globes that fit together to make a seal. A plug, often attached to a spring seats in the upper globe.
34. In the old days in Constantinople, the first coffeehouses were called qahveh khaneh (schools of wisdom) because they were the meeting places of men of arts and literature.
35. A kahveci is a person who is skilled in preparing Turkish coffee.
36. In 1690 the Dutch founded the East India Coffee trade when they introduced coffee in Java (Indonesia).
37. At one time there was a group of women who formed Women's Petition Against Coffee (WPAC). That was in London in 1674. They complained that their men were always at the coffee houses, and not being at home as needed during domestic crises.
38. Turkish coffee is traditionally brewed in a circular brass pot known as an ibrik. It is used to brew a cup that is thicker and sweeter than the usual coffee that we are accustomed to.
39. Coffee was brought into Costa Rica from Cuba by a Spanish traveller, Navarro, in 1779. Hence it is not their native plant.
40. According to Scheha Beddin, an Arab author, Mufti of Aden were the first people to drink coffee (who lived during the beginning of 9th century.)
41. Will's in Covent Garden became a favourite meeting place for writers and poets. Many famous people, including Dr. Johnson, who compiled the first English Dictionary, visited the Turk's Head Coffee House.
42. The requirements for making of good espresso is summarized by the 4 "M"s: Macinazione (the correct griinding of coffee blend), Miscela (coffee blend), Macchina (the espresso machine) and of course, Mano (barista).
43. Beethoven who was a coffee lover, was so particular about his coffee that he always counted 60 beans each cup when he prepared his brew.
44. Luigi Goglio invented a one-way valve that could be laminated onto layered, oxygen-permeable packaging material.
45. Louis XV was rumoured to have spent USD15,000/- per year on coffee for his daughters. And Voltaire supposedly drank 50 cups a day.
46. The French was the first to innovate a crude espresso machine. The Italians then perfected this machine and became the first to manufacture it.
47. The first coffee advertisement was a handbill distributed in 1651. It read: "The Virtue of the coffee drink first publicly made and sold in England, by Pasqua Rosee...in St. Michael's Alley Cornhill...at the Signe of his own head." It is now housed in the British Museum.
48. In 1511, Khair Beg, Mecca's corrupt governor, attempted to ban the coffee drink, fearing that it might foster public opposition to his rule. He even summoned experts from every walk of life to testify against coffee.
49. It was a locksmith who, in 1665, first invented a coffee mill in London.
50. It was in 1530 that the first coffeehouse was opened in Damascus, Syria. Istanbul, Turkey opened its first coffeehouse in 1554.
51. Mr. Jacobs opened England's first coffee house in Oxford in 1650. It was two years later that another coffee house was opened in London by a Greek, Pasqua Rosee, in partnership with Daniel Edwards, an Englishman. By 1700 some two thousand such coffee shops were established.
52. The Turks brought coffee to Austria when their army surrounded Vienna in 1683, laying siege to the city.
53. In 1785, the coffee revolt broke out in Prussia because coffee consumption was restricted to the nobility, the clergy and high officials.
54. Before coffee was introduced as a stimulant, it had been a social custom in Aden to chew the fresh leaves of "qat", as it had a mild narcotic effect.
55. The three biggest coffee drinkers in the world are the Americans, the French and the Germans. They consume some 65% of the total world's consumption of coffee.
56. The coffee bean is called "bunnu" in Arabic.
57. It was the Dutch who literally brought the coffee plant to the rest of the world. They brought the first coffee plant from Mocha in Yemen to Holland in 1616. Their first cultivation was in Ceylon (now Sri Lanka) in 1658.
58. A good cuptaster has not only got to have a good tongue and nose, but a good mouth and good health as well.
59. Nicaragua Margogipe is the largest of coffee beans.
60. Mr. G. Washington, an Englishman who lived in Guatemala, invented instant coffee. He discovered soluble coffee in 1906 and three years later was able to put his products on the market.
61. Dr. Satori Kato, a Japanese chemist, was among the first to develop an instant coffee powder.
62. Coffee in Kenya came from the Isle of Bourbon (Reunion) with the Roman Catholic missionaries as late as 1893.
63. 1 kilogram of roasted coffee requires 4,000 - 5,000 coffee beans.
64. The original Cappuccino machines were true works of art in the inimitable Italian style. Massive, ornate, and impressive steam machines designed to brew coffee and foam milk in a stimulating and entertaining ritual. Much of the enjoyment of this exotic Italian classic was watching the server make it in the elegant Cappuccino machine, with skill and showmanship.
65. The inventors of Cappuccino decided that it's preparation should be as dramatic as it's distinguished taste and appearance. So they designed an appropriately impressive Cappuccino machine.
66. Early in the history of revolutionary America, coffee played an important role, and today it has experienced an unprecedented and exponential rise in popularity and consumption, with Cappuccino setting the pace.
67. Infidels only consumed this delightful beverage until Pope Clement VIII found it to his taste and lifted the ban which had long denied Christians the enjoyment of this pleasurable and stimulating beverage.
68. Frederick the Great formed his own Gestapo-like organization to ferret out and punish anyone in his army who used coffee.
69. In the 17th century, for unknown reasons, an English king forbade his subjects to congregate anywhere coffee was sold.
70. Coffee has been around for over 11 centuries and is currently the most widely consumed beverage in the world. Cappuccino has become the popular choice of exotic coffee lovers everywhere. This was not always so however.
71. It is a well-known fact to coffee drinkers everywhere that Honoré de Balzac, famous nineteenth-century French writer (remember Père Goriot?), drank up to 40 cups of coffee per day!
72. When coffee supplies became scarce during the American Civil War, soldiers desperate for a cup of coffee used roasted sweet potato and Indian corn as a substitute!
73. Dark roasted coffees actually have LESS caffeine than medium roasts. The longer a coffee is roasted, the more caffeine burns off during the process.
74. The word "tip" dates back to the old London coffeehouses. Conspicuously placed brass boxes etched with the inscription, "To Insure Promptness," encouraged customers to pay for efficient service. The resulting acronym, TIP, has become a byword.
75. Until the tenth century, coffee was considered a food. Ethiopian tribesmen would mix the coffee berries with animal fat, roll them into balls, and eat them on their nomadic journeys!
    

Sources:1 | 2 | 3 | 4

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IDEA # 10 OF 101 ROMANTIC IDEAS

Get a piece of paper and some crayons. Draw a bright childlike picture with a smiley sun and two stick figures holding hands. Add labels with your two names pointing to the stick figures. Write "I Love You" inside a heart.

Next get a large formal envelope. Place your drawing inside and type up a formal address label of your partner's work such as:

For the immediate and urgent attention of:

Natasha Gates
Level 20
Info Systems
Bangalore

Mail it to your partner so she receives it in the middle of a busy day.

1 | Micheal Webb

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IDEA # 09 OF 101 ROMANTIC IDEAS

Drive into the country, find a grassy hill and lie with your partner and look up at the clouds.

Play the kid’s game of looking for shapes in the cloud formations.

1 | Micheal Webb

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IDEA # 08 OF 101 ROMANTIC IDEAS

While walking with your partner on a weekend getaway, pick up a smooth stone and say that you're going to keep it as a special memento of your trip. Later, have a message such as

"I Love Natasha"

engraved into the stone by a jeweller and give it to your partner.

1 | Micheal Webb

Technorati Tags:love, romance, ideas, romantic ideas