I always wondered what was down the whirlpool. How can events so small create forces so strong that it can suck even the most mighty in its belly? What lies beneath the blue ocean? Is there any peace there? For I am a tormented soul restless in search of tranquility.
Days seem a drag nowdays. Nights are sleepless nightmares. Each new face that I come across is a mirror of my deeds. Their eyes filled with hatred for me. Their hearts empty with love for me. Never have I felt so alone in a crowd filled with family and friends. Never have I sat alone in the hospital waiting room anxious for someone to come and tell me its all over.
I was a born loner as far as I can remember. I was never the soul of the party nor the subject of any hot gossips. I preferred to live my life as the average kid round the block. Me to my own. But suddenly I am thrown into the ring with lime light on my face. I am made to sit on the throne meant for someone else. The dish served on the platter. The face that each finger points. I am the guy who is the cause for everyone to be present here at two in the morning with eyes waiting for the doctor to come out of the ICU any moment.
When the caterpillar finally emerges into a butterfly it is the most amazing and breath taking moment. It is the beauty in which nature juggles the delicate balance of life that attracts me. The turmoil of the catterpillar is finally over. It is finally free to fly away where its heart desires. As I sit here alone in the waiting room, all I can think is when will all this be over and finally get to fly away where my heart desires.
The room is empty and cold like everyones faces. It is as if I do not exist. I am the social outcast. They do not say it, but you can see it on their faces and trembling lips. Everyone blames me for the old man's heart attack. And sadly, it is the truth.
I never ever cared what people thought of me. To each his own. Bugger off for all I cared. But little did I know that family and society matters. My game has turned into a monopoly where no matter what dices I roll, I end up in jail without passing Go. While I sit here with my head dropped in shame and my eyes filled with tears of remorse, the old man is possibly fighting to take a breath. The old man is my uncle and quite possibly the only ally I have in this current crisis.
If only the clock could be turned back - for with each tick the urge to stab myself to death grows stronger. I do not know what lies ahead of me now. What am I going to do? For all I can do is wait for the doctor to come out of the ICU...
Days seem a drag nowdays. Nights are sleepless nightmares. Each new face that I come across is a mirror of my deeds. Their eyes filled with hatred for me. Their hearts empty with love for me. Never have I felt so alone in a crowd filled with family and friends. Never have I sat alone in the hospital waiting room anxious for someone to come and tell me its all over.
I was a born loner as far as I can remember. I was never the soul of the party nor the subject of any hot gossips. I preferred to live my life as the average kid round the block. Me to my own. But suddenly I am thrown into the ring with lime light on my face. I am made to sit on the throne meant for someone else. The dish served on the platter. The face that each finger points. I am the guy who is the cause for everyone to be present here at two in the morning with eyes waiting for the doctor to come out of the ICU any moment.
When the caterpillar finally emerges into a butterfly it is the most amazing and breath taking moment. It is the beauty in which nature juggles the delicate balance of life that attracts me. The turmoil of the catterpillar is finally over. It is finally free to fly away where its heart desires. As I sit here alone in the waiting room, all I can think is when will all this be over and finally get to fly away where my heart desires.
The room is empty and cold like everyones faces. It is as if I do not exist. I am the social outcast. They do not say it, but you can see it on their faces and trembling lips. Everyone blames me for the old man's heart attack. And sadly, it is the truth.
I never ever cared what people thought of me. To each his own. Bugger off for all I cared. But little did I know that family and society matters. My game has turned into a monopoly where no matter what dices I roll, I end up in jail without passing Go. While I sit here with my head dropped in shame and my eyes filled with tears of remorse, the old man is possibly fighting to take a breath. The old man is my uncle and quite possibly the only ally I have in this current crisis.
If only the clock could be turned back - for with each tick the urge to stab myself to death grows stronger. I do not know what lies ahead of me now. What am I going to do? For all I can do is wait for the doctor to come out of the ICU...
1 COMMENTS:
urgently need to speak to you.. :-(
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