DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

Ø 40-ish..................................49.
Ø Adventurous..........................Slept with everyone.
Ø Athletic................................No breasts.
Ø Average looking.....................Moooo.
Ø Beautiful..............................Pathological liar.
Ø Emotionally Secure..................On medication.
Ø Feminist...............................Fat.
Ø Free Spirit.................................Junkie.
Ø Friendship first.......................Former Slut.
Ø New-Age.........................Body hair in the wrong places.
Ø Old-fashioned........................No B.J.'s
Ø Open-minded.........................Desperate.
Ø Outgoing..............................Loud and embarrassing.
Ø Professional................. ..........Bitch.
Ø Voluptuous...........................Very fat.
Ø Large frame...........................Hugely fat.
Ø Wants soul mate.....................Stalker.

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