I am not a chating person. However the other night I was bored out of my wits. So i did the next best thing, ICQ.
I went with the obvious handle of [espee] keeping in mind not to divulge any information that might lead the cute kudi chasing me with a belan.
Anyways, to my surprise I met Varun. No idea who he was, but apparently he was sure I was some female about to satisfy his most weirdest fetish! Once I explained that I was a dude and not a goddess of his dreams, he tried to ditch me faster than you could say whatcamacallit! But somehow he still would not belive that I was a cool dude...
Here is a short script of what happened...
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[espee] we friends now
[varun] i don make frends with boys and man on net
[espee] good 4 u
[varun] u wanna ask sumthng
[espee] but why did u say
[espee] boys and man and not just boys and men
[espee] did someone break ur heart]
[varun] haan
[varun] fir??
[espee] kaun tha jisne tere dil ke hazaar tukde kiye?
[varun] yaar tu jaa
[espee] but u did not answer my question
[varun] bas hogayaa
[espee] but u said that u will...
[varun] yaar woh kisi aur ke saath bhaag gayi
[espee] thats a shame....
[espee] no really
[varun] haan
[varun] kya karen
[espee] per kyun... tujme aisi to kya kami thi?
[varun] haan ..
[varun] mere paas vip kaa underwear nahi tha
[espee] yes i know... jab se yeh VIP underwears bazaar mein nikli hai, aam aadmi ki haalat bahut kambhi ho gai hai
[varun] haan yaar
[espee] so can i ask u that question i wanted to ask you
[varun] haan poocho
[espee] shit, what was i gonna ask u....
[espee] o yes
[espee] why did you
[espee] think
[espee] that
[varun] aage bado
[espee] kither?
[varun] kya poochna hai
[espee] i asked u why did u think i was a bomb shell from hell and not a dude from anywhere else?
[varun] leave it
[varun] u said it tht ur a guy
[varun] now wats the fun
[espee] yes, but u didn't believe me
[varun] ya..
[espee] u hoped against hope
[espee] why?
[varun] nahi yaar
[espee] where is the logic behing it
[varun] usounded like by ur questions
[espee] *behind
[varun] ne ways
[varun] i have to go now
[espee] what questions n ways
[espee] u cant leave me with so many questions in my head
[varun] haha
[espee] u just cant' - tujhe VIP underwear ki kasam
[varun] i think tum aaj full mood mai ho
[varun] nahi ..
[varun] i m tired
[varun] veeru phir kisi aur dil le lena meri
[espee] i thgt u were working... how can u be tired
[varun] aaj chod do
[espee] maine kahan pakda hai tujhe abhi tak...
[varun] ok..
[varun] bye
[espee] but nice chattin 2 u
[espee] even though i proved u wrong
[varun] ok same here
[varun] ab to bata de.. am i rite
[espee] what do u think?
[varun] i think ur a female
[espee] per kyun?
[varun] pataa nahi...
[varun] aise hi intusion'
[espee] nahin, mujhe ek logic tere conclusion mein bataa de
[varun] leave it naaa
[varun] ur a male
[varun] fine
[varun] a super male
[varun] ok.
[espee] but then i could be that girl of ur dreams that u left because of ur ego
[espee] u could miss out on all the happiness
[varun] hahaha
[espee] that u always wanted... but could not get b'cas of u now owning a VIP underwear
[varun] no i m not still
[espee] tough luck... so what brand u wear?
[varun] tht cloth with stripes..
[espee] lenga?
[varun] u must be knowing
[varun] pajama wala kapdaa
[espee] with a long nada?
[varun] yaaaaaaaaaaaa
[espee] varun , u mind me asking u one more question
[varun] and naada hanging loose
[varun] haan..
[espee] thekk hai. aur tu apne aap ko mera dost kehta hai
[espee] so my question was
[espee] do you c a pattern here?
[varun] yaa..
[espee] have u figured it out yet
[varun] u are trying to just frustrate me..
[espee] i have my doubts on that
[varun] wth q after q
[espee] but u r not giving me straight answere
[varun] accha huzur
[varun] ab band karen
[espee] kya ganna bajaana... per humne use shuru hi kab kiya tha?
[espee] c now u got me all confused
[varun] dekh..
[espee] n frustrated
[espee] shame on u
[varun] tu ladkaa to nahi hai
[varun] bas..
[espee] how could u be so mean
[varun] newys byeeeeeeeeeeeee
[espee] n nasty
[espee] breaking my heart
[espee] wearing that lenga with a loose nada
[espee] shame on ya varun
[espee] n btw, u did not answer my question. I stand corrected.
[espee] varun, u still there...
[espee] don't leave me.
[varun] wont respond u
[espee] why not
[espee] please respond. i demand a response. no wonder ur ex left u for someone else. u just wont respond.
[varun] ur a female
[espee] but that was not my question
[varun] gud nite dear
[varun] u r a big jhilau
[espee] wats a jhilau?
[varun] perso who can frustrate out of limit
[espee] but i did not frustrate u. did i?
[varun] yaa
[espee] now u r just being mean
[varun] ok i m..
[varun] wat will u do
[espee] but why? maine tera kya bigara hai?
[varun] wats ur name
[espee] i would have really told u if u had not been so mean with me
[varun] look..
[varun] by now i know ..
[varun] wat kinda ur ..
[varun] boys are never like tht
[varun] and thts why u cant be a boy or man
[espee] just b'cos i don't wear a lenga with a naada like u, does not mean that i am a girl. c my logic
[varun] hello
[varun] lok..
[espee] n that also does not give u a right to be mean 2 me
[espee] n expecially a foreigner who just wanted to talk to a good hosptable indian
[varun] ok..
[espee] u really scarred me 4 life
[varun] so ur 29.m uk
[espee] not that does not justify ur actions
[espee] or words
[espee] or u wearing that lenga with a nada
[varun] tel me ur 29.m uk
[espee] (i wonder how u look)
[espee] why should i tell u anything - u r just being mean 2 me
[varun] ok no more replies
[varun] till u tell mebout ur self honestly
[varun] ut i doubt tht ur a man
[espee] n i doubt that u have one too... u prove that u r a male like u say
[varun] byeeeeeeeeeeee
[espee] all i could know is that u r a female sitting on her laptop in her knickers
[espee] ya run away
[varun] thts wat ur telling boutur self
[espee] woundn't u like to find out
[varun] nahi yar mujhko itni pakaufemale bhi nahi chahiye
[espee] why what kind of female u want.. or r u just interested in guys.. n r just in plain denial
[varun] ur asl..
[espee] why do u keep coming back to asl... is it some kind of a fixation 4 u... a secret fetish that u r trying to bring out
[varun] asl
[varun] ok.. finally i m leaving
[espee] boy u r a tough crowd. ok i am a sexy blonde, (even james bond would be jealous of) in sweden
[espee] i was born of a swedish mother n indian father
[varun] ok..
[espee] i live alone
[espee] n work as a computer consultant
[varun] in sweden
[espee] happy now
[espee] all u had to ask
[varun] ur asl
[espee] don't know why u chose the long winded path
[varun] wats ur name
[espee] r u pulling my leg
[espee] u tell me urs first
[espee] my turn to know abt u
[varun] well if ur legs are tht gud i dont mind:0
[varun] ok..
[varun] i m indian
[varun] wrking as doctor
[espee] o gettin fresh
[varun] in india
[espee] i just don't belive that
[espee] u cant be a doctor
[varun] where are uputtingup
[espee] doctors are nice not mean
[varun] yaa i also dont belev but yaa i m..
[espee] what kind of doctor r u
[varun] i m asurgeon
[espee] now u r just kiddin me, right]
[varun] no..
[espee] so tell me whats ur speciality
[varun] idont have ur kinda interest..:gt;
[varun] i mstrt forward person..
[espee] what interest do i have then?
[espee] mstrt? whats that
[varun] i think aaj subah se tumhe koi milaa nahithaa
[varun] i m strt. forward
[espee] how do u know that...
[varun] meri khoob taang kheechi
[espee] so u have not answered that
[varun] wats ur name
[espee] doctors have cute legs, n do not wear lengas with nadaas
[varun] look.. i m surgeon to my bone marrow
[varun] belev it or not
[varun] and if ne doubts..
[espee] which hospital then?
[varun] u can come and clear in hospital..
[espee] i need to know the hospital to come n clear that
[varun] ok..
[espee] see u r playing mind games again
[varun] thn call me and i will let u know
[espee] why should i call u, u call me.
[varun] ur no.
[varun] but u told ur in sweden
[espee] 00420420420, as if i am going to give u.... i
[varun] hw can u cm
[varun] haha
[varun] neways
[varun] ur choice
[espee] i'll take my chances....
[varun] wats ur sweet name
[espee] how did you know it was sweet?
[varun] plzz..
[varun] wth folded hands i request u
[espee] what will u give me if i tell ya
[varun] dont strtch now
[espee] but i am shy
[varun] i will gv u my blessing and wish u happyindependence day
[espee] u just might google me up an blackmail me, 4 all i know
[varun] haha
[espee] u could be a serial killer
[varun] i dont hv time for all tht
[espee] kill me when when i come home from shopping
[varun] haha
[varun] all these kinda films usuallygo flop
[varun] so think some original one
[espee] so doc, u have not told me which hospital u r from, afraid i might come n surpriese u
[varun] look..
[varun] im a doctor is true
[espee] fine u want orignal, i might me having a bbq n u might steal my buns
[varun] and offcourse i m wrking
[varun] but to arive to tht place ineed toknow u
[varun] ne ways
[varun] iknow
[espee] ok tell me something that only a surgeon would know so that i know u r not pulling ur lenga with a loose nada
[varun] thtto revelur gender u tooksolong sohowlong will u taketotell ur name
[varun] well u ask
[espee] ah, u seem to be a master in psychology too
[espee] man of many talents
[varun] yaa i m..
[varun] ur name
[espee] ok, nice chatting to u doc, the man with a lenga n a loose nada.... i am kinda tired now n i do need my beauty sleep 2
[varun] ur name
[espee] may b some day we might meet and have that date u always wanted but were afraid to ask
[varun] ur name
[espee] ah, a persisitant doc, ic
[espee] few mins ago u did not even want to know abt me, why the change of heart]
[varun] ur name
[espee] may b tomorrow. if u show up and send me choclates n flowers
[espee] ciao.
[espee] thats italian, i know.
[varun] i belev in now ornever
[espee] its ur belief n i respect that.
[varun] okthn
[varun] ur name
[espee] mera naam jaan ke kya karoge?
[varun] urname
[espee] u did not answer my question
[varun] i wud adressu wth ur name
[espee] and what cosmic purpose would that serve, my dear doc?
[varun] ok..
[varun] i think ur too much complicated
[espee] give up so soon? do u give up so soon on ur patients too?
[varun] i wasenjoying thecnversation tillnow
[varun] ur not mypatient
[espee] yeah thats true.
[varun] and i m not paid for tht
[espee] paid 4 what?
[espee] did not get u there....
[varun] imnot paid to keep my patience wth u
[espee] apologies, if u got offended.
[varun] ne ways
[varun] thecnversation is losing itscharm now
[espee] I need to go. my grand kids r home now.
[varun] coz toomuch strching breaks
[varun] haha
[espee] bye
[espee] meet me again, n i promise i will tell u my name.
[espee] just not today. not on our first date, atleast.
[varun] so ur60
[varun] hello
[varun] ur
[varun] name
[varun] ur asl
[varun] now
[varun] i wont come
[varun] i promiseu
[varun] i was doing my wrk
[varun] so i waslogged in..
[espee] so i guess it was never meant to be!
[varun] and cnverstaion wth u was interesting
[varun] plzzz
[espee] shame, i was enjoying tormenting u
[varun] i request u
[espee] r u kneeling yet?
[varun] ur name and asl
[varun] i monmy kneels
[espee] if u insist...
[espee] my name is...
[varun] ibeg
[espee] r u married, btw?
[espee] hesitation. i assume that u r then.
[espee] shame. flirting with me, when u got a wife n three kids back home.
[espee] Dr. Varun, u broke my heart again.
[espee] ;-(
