NOW THATS WHAT I CALL A STUNT!

NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL A LOVE LETTER

NOW THATS WHAT I CALL EATING BIRYANI

LEARN CHINESE IN 5 MINUTES

English: He's cleaning his automobile.
Chinese:Wa Shing Ka

English: This is a tow away zone.
Chinese No Pah King

English: Is there a fugitive there?
Chinese Hu Yu Hai DIng?

English: Small horse
Chinese Tai Ni Po Ni

English: Your price is too high
Chinese No Bai Nut Ding

English: Did you go to the beach?
Chinese Wai Yu So Tan?



English: I bumped into a coffee table
Chinese Ai Bang Mai Ni

English: It's very dark in here
Chinese Wai So Dim?

English: Has your flight been delayed?
Chinese:Hao Long Wei Ting?

English: I thought you were on a diet
Chinese Wai Yu Mun Ching?

English: They have arrived
Chinese Hai Dey Kum

English: Your body odour is offensive
Chinese: Yu Stin Ki Poo

English: You know lyrics to the Macarena
Chinese: Wai Yu Sing Dum Song?

English: I got this for free.
Chinese Ai No Pei

English: Stay out of sight
Chinese Lei Lo

English: Phew! Does this bathroom stink?
Chinese Hu Flung Dung.

How to undress in two seconds? (awesome)

What can I say... watch n learn

What a 3-Year-Old Girl Will Do To A Monster

When this 3-year-old girl was asked what she was going to do if a monster came after her, the girl’s answer was far more intelligible than the recent Miss South Carolina hubbub.

John Mayer responds to Tay Zonday's Chocolate Rain!

And it keeps going on n on... :)

Chocolate Rain (ORIGINAL SPOOF) Zay Tonday, Russ Houghton

Hear Chocolate Rain Original first. Then this. :)

VANILLA SNOW (CHOCOLATE RAIN PARODY)

What can I say...

It's black. It's white.

It's Chocolate Rain. It's Vanilla Snow.

:)

"Chocolate Rain" Original Song by Tay Zonday

Just had to post this and see what y'all are thinking about this "Tay Zonday" fellow. Someone sent me this youtube link of him signing a song called "Chocolate Rain" At first I thought it was a joke, but when I listened to the lyrics they actually made some sense.

The music is catchy, then after about two minutes gets annoying.

The guy does look a tad like Janet Jackson long lost son as some have suggested. I think I'm just genrally freaked out by this guy who looks 12, but has a voice like James Earl Jones!

Yet I can't stop watching him. I need help y'all!

Until sometime in the near future. peace out y'all players.

:)

The Hellos

I came across this blog entry by Bikerdude and just could not help but share if along:

If you thought Javed Jaffrey invented this latest lingo that is all the rage today, you are the wrongs. It has been around for quite a while in the Benglurs. It is terribly uncool and gets on your nerves, but is also hopelessly addictive. The trick is to intersperse colonial governmentese with random prepositions, throw in a tass-puss accent and vernaculo-pluralize the whole thing. Simples.

"The hellos. How it is?"
"Sallrights. Vat is to be doings?"
"The tv watchings, readings, chumma sittings and generally jolly lo janardhanings"
"Vary the goods. I will to come in 10 minutes ok va?"
"Comes in won'nour times. I am going for oil bathings"
"Oh yes aa, wokay I will do the aforementioned."
"Yes kindly to be doing the same."
"OK byes the."

IT IS PERFECT FOR CORPORATES THE COMMUNICATIONS:

Dears the employees,

I am to notings with growing the concerns that ppls are coming into office wearings vaterveritis they are vantings. It is with great the regrets that I have to announce that is unaccept-the-bles. The chuddis wearings, the hawai chappal with yellow toenails showings and product-free hair is just appalling I tell you. Howitis you can wear the aforementioned items in proffessional the atmospheres pls to telling. I therefore request one and all to kindly take note of the same and pulling up socks till navels and tying tie around head if your overfed software engineer's neck is beings the too thick for it. You follow?

I remain sin-the-cerelys

Semi evull HRs the Managers.

OR PRE-RECORDED MULTI-VOICE RAILWAY STATION ANNOUNCE-THE-MENTS:

(squeaky voice) Gaadi nembers ... (Deep voice) The threes, the fours, the twos, the threes ... (Mallu squawk) Lyaaalbaaguhs the Essprruss .....(Squeak) fraam .....(Deep voice) The Channis.....(squeak) is expected to the arrives at platform numbers..... (Deep voice) the Twos .......(squeak) At ........(Mallu sqawk) Den dherty pms.

OR A BREAK UP LETTER:

Dears the Johns,

It has been many a day since I have been the thinking about writing this to the yous. Boss it is not the happenings. Please to kindly finding ettanother appropriate ladies for maritals the purposes.

Thanks and best the regards,

It is I.

OR PERHAPS A RECIPE FOR EXOTIC CONTINENTAL DISH

1. To takings the freshly picked aspara-the-gus from alpine mountain tops and blanching in haats spring vaatrs for 13 seconds.

2. Taking anchovy-fed guinea-bissau pheasants, turning inside outs and stuffings with a mixture of the fresh eidelweiss, juniper lichens, antarctic olives, a dash of dijagaboranjo vinegar, the potetos and the taametos.

3. Then to be marinatings in white wine reductions for 28 days while talking to it in cooings the voices for 3.2 hours per diem.

4. Finally boilings in the salt vaters for 2 hours, drying in suns, and depositing gently in dust-the-bins.

Due to to extreme efficacy in conveying the meanings, in my humble opinionings, this language is to be adopteds univers-the-lly for all communications in the futures.

:)

133,716 Page IPhone Bill

Now you know why Smoking is dangerous for your health! :)

300 Page IPHONE BILL!

Wow who was she talking to... nope not me! :(

Miss Teen USA South Carolina 2007 with Subtitles

Now you know why India's Ash was my favourite.... beauty n brains...

Wow ... the simple answer would be "No MAPS!"

ONE NIGHT ON ICQ...

I am not a chating person. However the other night I was bored out of my wits. So i did the next best thing, ICQ.

I went with the obvious handle of [espee] keeping in mind not to divulge any information that might lead the cute kudi chasing me with a belan.

Anyways, to my surprise I met Varun. No idea who he was, but apparently he was sure I was some female about to satisfy his most weirdest fetish! Once I explained that I was a dude and not a goddess of his dreams, he tried to ditch me faster than you could say whatcamacallit! But somehow he still would not belive that I was a cool dude...

Here is a short script of what happened...
.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

[espee] we friends now

[varun] i don make frends with boys and man on net

[espee] good 4 u

[varun] u wanna ask sumthng

[espee] but why did u say

[espee] boys and man and not just boys and men

[espee] did someone break ur heart]

[varun] haan

[varun] fir??

[espee] kaun tha jisne tere dil ke hazaar tukde kiye?

[varun] yaar tu jaa

[espee] but u did not answer my question

[varun] bas hogayaa

[espee] but u said that u will...

[varun] yaar woh kisi aur ke saath bhaag gayi

[espee] thats a shame....

[espee] no really

[varun] haan

[varun] kya karen

[espee] per kyun... tujme aisi to kya kami thi?

[varun] haan ..

[varun] mere paas vip kaa underwear nahi tha

[espee] yes i know... jab se yeh VIP underwears bazaar mein nikli hai, aam aadmi ki haalat bahut kambhi ho gai hai

[varun] haan yaar

[espee] so can i ask u that question i wanted to ask you

[varun] haan poocho

[espee] shit, what was i gonna ask u....

[espee] o yes

[espee] why did you

[espee] think

[espee] that

[varun] aage bado

[espee] kither?

[varun] kya poochna hai

[espee] i asked u why did u think i was a bomb shell from hell and not a dude from anywhere else?

[varun] leave it

[varun] u said it tht ur a guy

[varun] now wats the fun

[espee] yes, but u didn't believe me

[varun] ya..

[espee] u hoped against hope

[espee] why?

[varun] nahi yaar

[espee] where is the logic behing it

[varun] usounded like by ur questions

[espee] *behind

[varun] ne ways

[varun] i have to go now

[espee] what questions n ways

[espee] u cant leave me with so many questions in my head

[varun] haha

[espee] u just cant' - tujhe VIP underwear ki kasam

[varun] i think tum aaj full mood mai ho

[varun] nahi ..

[varun] i m tired

[varun] veeru phir kisi aur dil le lena meri

[espee] i thgt u were working... how can u be tired

[varun] aaj chod do

[espee] maine kahan pakda hai tujhe abhi tak...

[varun] ok..

[varun] bye

[espee] but nice chattin 2 u

[espee] even though i proved u wrong

[varun] ok same here

[varun] ab to bata de.. am i rite

[espee] what do u think?

[varun] i think ur a female

[espee] per kyun?

[varun] pataa nahi...

[varun] aise hi intusion'

[espee] nahin, mujhe ek logic tere conclusion mein bataa de

[varun] leave it naaa

[varun] ur a male

[varun] fine

[varun] a super male

[varun] ok.

[espee] but then i could be that girl of ur dreams that u left because of ur ego

[espee] u could miss out on all the happiness

[varun] hahaha

[espee] that u always wanted... but could not get b'cas of u now owning a VIP underwear

[varun] no i m not still

[espee] tough luck... so what brand u wear?

[varun] tht cloth with stripes..

[espee] lenga?

[varun] u must be knowing

[varun] pajama wala kapdaa

[espee] with a long nada?

[varun] yaaaaaaaaaaaa

[espee] varun , u mind me asking u one more question

[varun] and naada hanging loose

[varun] haan..

[espee] thekk hai. aur tu apne aap ko mera dost kehta hai

[espee] so my question was

[espee] do you c a pattern here?

[varun] yaa..

[espee] have u figured it out yet

[varun] u are trying to just frustrate me..

[espee] i have my doubts on that

[varun] wth q after q

[espee] but u r not giving me straight answere

[varun] accha huzur

[varun] ab band karen

[espee] kya ganna bajaana... per humne use shuru hi kab kiya tha?

[espee] c now u got me all confused

[varun] dekh..

[espee] n frustrated

[espee] shame on u

[varun] tu ladkaa to nahi hai

[varun] bas..

[espee] how could u be so mean

[varun] newys byeeeeeeeeeeeee

[espee] n nasty

[espee] breaking my heart

[espee] wearing that lenga with a loose nada

[espee] shame on ya varun

[espee] n btw, u did not answer my question. I stand corrected.

[espee] varun, u still there...

[espee] don't leave me.

[varun] wont respond u

[espee] why not

[espee] please respond. i demand a response. no wonder ur ex left u for someone else. u just wont respond.

[varun] ur a female

[espee] but that was not my question

[varun] gud nite dear

[varun] u r a big jhilau

[espee] wats a jhilau?

[varun] perso who can frustrate out of limit

[espee] but i did not frustrate u. did i?

[varun] yaa

[espee] now u r just being mean

[varun] ok i m..

[varun] wat will u do

[espee] but why? maine tera kya bigara hai?

[varun] wats ur name

[espee] i would have really told u if u had not been so mean with me

[varun] look..

[varun] by now i know ..

[varun] wat kinda ur ..

[varun] boys are never like tht

[varun] and thts why u cant be a boy or man

[espee] just b'cos i don't wear a lenga with a naada like u, does not mean that i am a girl. c my logic

[varun] hello

[varun] lok..

[espee] n that also does not give u a right to be mean 2 me

[espee] n expecially a foreigner who just wanted to talk to a good hosptable indian

[varun] ok..

[espee] u really scarred me 4 life

[varun] so ur 29.m uk

[espee] not that does not justify ur actions

[espee] or words

[espee] or u wearing that lenga with a nada

[varun] tel me ur 29.m uk

[espee] (i wonder how u look)

[espee] why should i tell u anything - u r just being mean 2 me

[varun] ok no more replies

[varun] till u tell mebout ur self honestly

[varun] ut i doubt tht ur a man

[espee] n i doubt that u have one too... u prove that u r a male like u say

[varun] byeeeeeeeeeeee

[espee] all i could know is that u r a female sitting on her laptop in her knickers

[espee] ya run away

[varun] thts wat ur telling boutur self

[espee] woundn't u like to find out

[varun] nahi yar mujhko itni pakaufemale bhi nahi chahiye

[espee] why what kind of female u want.. or r u just interested in guys.. n r just in plain denial

[varun] ur asl..

[espee] why do u keep coming back to asl... is it some kind of a fixation 4 u... a secret fetish that u r trying to bring out

[varun] asl

[varun] ok.. finally i m leaving

[espee] boy u r a tough crowd. ok i am a sexy blonde, (even james bond would be jealous of) in sweden

[espee] i was born of a swedish mother n indian father

[varun] ok..

[espee] i live alone

[espee] n work as a computer consultant

[varun] in sweden

[espee] happy now

[espee] all u had to ask

[varun] ur asl

[espee] don't know why u chose the long winded path

[varun] wats ur name

[espee] r u pulling my leg

[espee] u tell me urs first

[espee] my turn to know abt u

[varun] well if ur legs are tht gud i dont mind:0

[varun] ok..

[varun] i m indian

[varun] wrking as doctor

[espee] o gettin fresh

[varun] in india

[espee] i just don't belive that

[espee] u cant be a doctor

[varun] where are uputtingup

[espee] doctors are nice not mean

[varun] yaa i also dont belev but yaa i m..

[espee] what kind of doctor r u

[varun] i m asurgeon

[espee] now u r just kiddin me, right]

[varun] no..

[espee] so tell me whats ur speciality

[varun] idont have ur kinda interest..:gt;

[varun] i mstrt forward person..

[espee] what interest do i have then?

[espee] mstrt? whats that

[varun] i think aaj subah se tumhe koi milaa nahithaa

[varun] i m strt. forward

[espee] how do u know that...

[varun] meri khoob taang kheechi

[espee] so u have not answered that

[varun] wats ur name

[espee] doctors have cute legs, n do not wear lengas with nadaas

[varun] look.. i m surgeon to my bone marrow

[varun] belev it or not

[varun] and if ne doubts..

[espee] which hospital then?

[varun] u can come and clear in hospital..

[espee] i need to know the hospital to come n clear that

[varun] ok..

[espee] see u r playing mind games again

[varun] thn call me and i will let u know

[espee] why should i call u, u call me.

[varun] ur no.

[varun] but u told ur in sweden

[espee] 00420420420, as if i am going to give u.... i

[varun] hw can u cm

[varun] haha

[varun] neways

[varun] ur choice

[espee] i'll take my chances....

[varun] wats ur sweet name

[espee] how did you know it was sweet?

[varun] plzz..

[varun] wth folded hands i request u

[espee] what will u give me if i tell ya

[varun] dont strtch now

[espee] but i am shy

[varun] i will gv u my blessing and wish u happyindependence day

[espee] u just might google me up an blackmail me, 4 all i know

[varun] haha

[espee] u could be a serial killer

[varun] i dont hv time for all tht

[espee] kill me when when i come home from shopping

[varun] haha

[varun] all these kinda films usuallygo flop

[varun] so think some original one

[espee] so doc, u have not told me which hospital u r from, afraid i might come n surpriese u

[varun] look..

[varun] im a doctor is true

[espee] fine u want orignal, i might me having a bbq n u might steal my buns

[varun] and offcourse i m wrking

[varun] but to arive to tht place ineed toknow u

[varun] ne ways

[varun] iknow

[espee] ok tell me something that only a surgeon would know so that i know u r not pulling ur lenga with a loose nada

[varun] thtto revelur gender u tooksolong sohowlong will u taketotell ur name

[varun] well u ask

[espee] ah, u seem to be a master in psychology too

[espee] man of many talents

[varun] yaa i m..

[varun] ur name

[espee] ok, nice chatting to u doc, the man with a lenga n a loose nada.... i am kinda tired now n i do need my beauty sleep 2

[varun] ur name

[espee] may b some day we might meet and have that date u always wanted but were afraid to ask

[varun] ur name

[espee] ah, a persisitant doc, ic

[espee] few mins ago u did not even want to know abt me, why the change of heart]

[varun] ur name

[espee] may b tomorrow. if u show up and send me choclates n flowers

[espee] ciao.

[espee] thats italian, i know.

[varun] i belev in now ornever

[espee] its ur belief n i respect that.

[varun] okthn

[varun] ur name

[espee] mera naam jaan ke kya karoge?

[varun] urname

[espee] u did not answer my question

[varun] i wud adressu wth ur name

[espee] and what cosmic purpose would that serve, my dear doc?

[varun] ok..

[varun] i think ur too much complicated

[espee] give up so soon? do u give up so soon on ur patients too?

[varun] i wasenjoying thecnversation tillnow

[varun] ur not mypatient

[espee] yeah thats true.

[varun] and i m not paid for tht

[espee] paid 4 what?

[espee] did not get u there....

[varun] imnot paid to keep my patience wth u

[espee] apologies, if u got offended.

[varun] ne ways

[varun] thecnversation is losing itscharm now

[espee] I need to go. my grand kids r home now.

[varun] coz toomuch strching breaks

[varun] haha

[espee] bye

[espee] meet me again, n i promise i will tell u my name.

[espee] just not today. not on our first date, atleast.

[varun] so ur60

[varun] hello

[varun] ur

[varun] name

[varun] ur asl

[varun] now

[varun] i wont come

[varun] i promiseu

[varun] i was doing my wrk

[varun] so i waslogged in..

[espee] so i guess it was never meant to be!

[varun] and cnverstaion wth u was interesting

[varun] plzzz

[espee] shame, i was enjoying tormenting u

[varun] i request u

[espee] r u kneeling yet?

[varun] ur name and asl

[varun] i monmy kneels

[espee] if u insist...

[espee] my name is...

[varun] ibeg

[espee] r u married, btw?

[espee] hesitation. i assume that u r then.

[espee] shame. flirting with me, when u got a wife n three kids back home.

[espee] Dr. Varun, u broke my heart again.

[espee] ;-(

WHAT IF ACCOUNTANTS START PRODUCING BOLLYWOOD MOVIES?

...socho agar aisa ho to kya ho...

We'll have:

1. Munnabhai C.A.
2. Hamara Ledger Aapke Paas Hai
3. Kaho na Depreciation Hai
4. Journal Se Balance Sheet Tak
5. Kabhi Credit Kabhi Debit
6. Hum Tax de Chuke Sanam
7. Kya Yehi Credit Period Hai?
8. Main A/cs ki Diwani Hoon
9. Maine divide kiya
10. Maine divide kiyun kiya
11. Jab Jab Discount Mile
12. Petty Cash Apna Apna
13. Bill hai ke Pass hota nahin
14. Hum hai Accountant bekaar ke
15. Jo Tally hua wohi Trial Balance
16. Bus itna sa BYAZ (Interest) hai
17. Tera 500 ka note Chal gaya
18. Dhai Akshar BYAZ ke
19. Tally 6.3 instal karke rakhna
20. Ab tumahare hawale pura account saathiyo
21. Balance sheet ki kasam
22. Kiyu Tally ho gaya na
23. Calculator sirf mere liye
24. Mujhe kuchh likhna hai
25. Solve karo to Cash lo.
26. Salary ke liye saala kuchh bhi karega
27. Accountant tune kya kiya
28. Rehna hai tally karke

(sent to me via email)