SOME ITEMS OF LIMITED INTEREST ABOUT ME: [...Read more +/-]
1. I'm Sajid Patel and by default I am a simple guy.
2. And I enjoy simple things in life.
3. I absolutely have no bizarre desires to jump out of real planes with symbolic parachutes.
4. I also do not enjoy breaking world records for sleeping in a room full of snakes or doing some equally radical acts of insanity.
5. Yes, I am charming.
6. I was born, raised and lived in Dubai for 18 years.
7. However 12 years of those were spent in school, so I left.
8. I am a professional problem solver, with an interest in things that interest only me.
9. Yes, there is such a thing.
10. No, its not contagious.
11. I have friends who are also professional problem solvers.
12. Apparently item # 10 is false afterall.
13. Infact some of the items in this list are also false.
14. I know the definition of "doceed".
15. Items # 13 and 14 are not unrelated.
16. Nevertheless, most of the items have a glimmer of truth in them.
17. Item # 18 is completely true.
18. Item # 27 and 35 are completely false.
19. I now live in Blackburn.
20. You have no idea where that is, do you?
21. I am neither a scientist nor a saint. See Item # 8.
22. I have a ridiculously large wardrobe of black T-Shirts.
23. I like instrumental music and prefer the saxophone.
24. Item # 22 and 23 and 31 are frequently incompatible.
25. There is no item # 25 and 31.
26. I have a problem with with low self-esteem which is really ridiculous when you consider how amazing I am.
27. I don't understand vegetarians - they're born at the top of the food chain but they want to go slumming with rabbits and cows.
28. Right before I die I want to put a lot of those whitening strips so if an archaeologist digs me up thousand years from now he'll say "Hey, guys! Look at the teeth on this one!"
29. Medusa always tells me to "wake up and smell the coffee" but she never makes me breakfast.
30. I am currently a British-Indian. Which means that I am both a British and an Indian.
31. No UK is not the 51st State.
32. See Item # 25.
33. I was thrown out of a writing class because the first thing I wrote was no good. The check.
34. But I still blog for the same reason that millions of people write blogs - slumped on the couch with a bag of chips watching TV we have a feeling of deja vu.
35. I flunked kindergarten - I flunked nap.
36. My dog can lick anyone.
37. I was a procrastinator, but I finally got my shit together. So now I've got a great, big pile of shit.
38. I usually wear shoes and have once walked on water in subzero temperature.
39. I like to wear red contact lenses to every family parties and ruin every photos.
40. I can't help but imagine what a wonderful life this could be if every body reading this would just send me all your money.
41. I'm not looking for my other half - I am looking for a whole.
42. My motto is 'Carpe Diem' - seize the Dime.
43. Sajid Patel = Problems Solved
44. I am a work in progress. And so is this blog. If you got any problems with that, take it with the Union which is currently on their coffee break.
45. In my years of watching the Simpson, I finally figured out that a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and press the right button.
46. It takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.
47. I am 90 percent water and have an uncontrollable urge to blink every few seconds.
48. Sometimes, late at night, when no one is around, I sleep.
49. Things are what you make them. Things are chocolate.
50. I don't think. Therefore I am not.
51. Finally rock is dead. Long live paper and scissors.
52. I plan to live forever. So far, so good.
53. What we need is a patch for stupidity.
54. Without ME, its just AWESO
1 COMMENTS:
Very well written!
Awesome! :-)
I'm ur fan..
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