Girls wanna have fun, so do guys...

There are times when I want to make a complete arse of myself. And there are times when I just want to watch others make a complete arse of themselves. If you are in the mood for the latter, keep watching...




So, what are they good for? Absolutely nothing.

Then there are times when you just chilling on the beach and peeping at the this absolutely gorgeous chick in bikini like Ursula Andress in Dr. No:



...but in reality this is what is happening:



... don't fret, just tuck in, guys...

I think when you're completed wasted on beer is when you make the best arse of yourself - like those drunk chicks whom we all love to see:




or this one where you play a silly prank on the poor drunk soul...



And I really have no idea what these two girls are trying to do:



some cheerleaders eh?

Anyhoo, as I was saying there are times when bla bla bla... here watch few more girls make a balloon of themselves:



Have your seen where they do the belly clapping... (18's only) so here is the link on YouTube. (LINK).

Sources: various

Best slow motion balloon explode

Ever watched a balloon explode? Yes? No? Who cares. Watch this one, and you'll never forget one exploding again.

Now keep you eyes on the balloon...





I did say keep your eyes on the balloon, didn't I? Hmm.. Go on, replay it... you know you wanna. ;-)

Sources: 1 | 2 |

Blackburn Earthquake Appeal

An earthquake measuring 5.3 on the Richter scale hit Blackburn in the early hours of Wednesday. Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering "Fooockinell". The tremor decimated the area causing approximately £30 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from Majorca and the Costa del Sol were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their giros arrived.

Rock FM 974 reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Blackburn. One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said, "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes come running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Victoria-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was skinning up and watching Jeremy Kyle the next morning."

Apparently looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on as normal. The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from Poundland.

HOW CAN YOU HELP?

This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster.

Clothing is most sought after - items most needed include:

• Fila or Burberry baseball caps
• Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers)
• Shell suits (female)
• White sport socks
• Rockport boots and any other items usually sold in Primark and TJ Hughes.
• Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.

Required foodstuffs include:

Microwave meals, Tins of baked beans, Ice cream, Cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew.

DONATIONS:

22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms.
£2 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9.
£5 buys B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected

Recollections

1. I am of the nature to grow old; I cannot avoid ageing.
2. I am of the nature to become ill; I cannot avoid illness.
3. I am of the nature to die; I cannot avoid death.
4. All that is mine, dear and delightful, will change and vanish.
5. I am the owner of my karma; I am born of my karma; I live supported by my karma; I will inherit my karma; whatever I do, whether good or evil, that I will inherit.

Sources: 1 |

I Love You

Ever since I first laid my eyes on you, I was in love with your and wanted the world to know. I guess my love was not strong enough to be with you forever and ever... but if I ever get the chance, no matter where you are and which country you live in, I would not hesitate to say it all over again in all the languages of the world:

English - I love you
Afrikaans - Ek het jou lief
Albanian - Te dua
Arabic - Ana behibak (to male)
Arabic - Ana behibek (to female)
Armenian - Yes kez sirumen
Bambara - M’bi fe
Bangla - Aamee tuma ke bhalo aashi
Belarusian - Ya tabe kahayu
Bisaya - Nahigugma ako kanimo
Bulgarian - Obicham te
Cambodian - Soro lahn nhee ah
Cantonese Chinese - Ngo oiy ney a
Catalan - T’estimo
Cheyenne - Ne mohotatse
Chichewa - Ndimakukonda
Corsican - Ti tengu caru (to male)
Creol - Mi aime jou
Croatian - Volim te
Czech - Miluji te
Danish - Jeg Elsker Dig
Dutch - Ik hou van jou
Esperanto - Mi amas vin
Estonian - Ma armastan sind
Ethiopian - Afgreki’
Faroese - Eg elski teg
Farsi - Doset daram
Filipino - Mahal kita
Finnish - Mina rakastan sinua
French - Je t’aime, Je t’adore
Frisian - Ik hâld fan dy
Gaelic - Ta gra agam ort
Georgian - Mikvarhar
German - Ich liebe dich
Greek - S’agapo
Gujarati - Hoo thunay prem karoo choo
Hiligaynon - Palangga ko ikaw
Hawaiian - Aloha wau ia oi
Hebrew - Ani ohev otah (to female)
Hebrew - Ani ohev et otha (to male)
Hiligaynon - Guina higugma ko ikaw
Hindi - Hum Tumhe Pyar Karte hae
Hmong - Kuv hlub koj
Hopi - Nu’ umi unangwa’ta
Hungarian - Szeretlek
Icelandic - Eg elska tig
Ilonggo - Palangga ko ikaw
Indonesian - Saya cinta padamu
Inuit - Negligevapse
Irish - Taim i’ ngra leat
Italian - Ti amo
Japanese - Aishiteru
Kannada - Naanu ninna preetisuttene
Kapampangan - Kaluguran daka
Kiswahili - Nakupenda
Konkani - Tu magel moga cho
Korean - Sarang Heyo
Latin - Te amo
Latvian - Es tevi miilu
Lebanese - Bahibak
Lithuanian - Tave myliu
Malay - Saya cintakan mu / Aku cinta padamu
Malayalam - Njan Ninne Premikunnu
Mandarin Chinese - Wo ai ni
Marathi - Me tula prem karto
Mohawk - Kanbhik
Moroccan - Ana moajaba bik
Nahuatl - Ni mits neki
Navaho - Ayor anosh’ni
Norwegian - Jeg Elsker Deg
Pandacan - Syota na kita!!
Pangasinan - Inaru Taka
Papiamento - Mi ta stimabo
Persian - Doo-set daaram
Pig Latin - Iay ovlay ouyay
Polish - Kocham Ciebie
Portuguese - Eu te amo
Romanian - Te iubesc
Russian - Ya tebya liubliu
Scot Gaelic - Tha gra\dh agam ort
Serbian - Volim te
Setswana - Ke a go rata
Sign Language - ,\,,/ (represents position of fingers when signing ‘I Love You’)
Sindhi - Maa tokhe pyar kendo ahyan
Sioux - Techihhila
Slovak - Lu`bim ta
Slovenian - Ljubim te
Spanish - Te quiero / Te amo
Swahili - Ninapenda wewe
Swedish - Jag alskar dig
Swiss-German - Ich lieb Di
Tagalog - Mahal kita
Taiwanese - Wa ga ei li
Tahitian - Ua Here Vau Ia Oe
Tamil - Nan unnai kathalikaraen
Telugu - Nenu ninnu premistunnanu
Thai - Chan rak khun (to male)
Thai - Phom rak khun (to female)
Turkish - Seni Seviyorum
Ukrainian - Ya tebe kahayu
Urdu - mai aap say pyaar karta hoo
Vietnamese - Anh ye^u em (to female)
Vietnamese - Em ye^u anh (to male)
Welsh - ‘Rwy’n dy garu di
Yiddish - Ikh hob dikh
Yoruba - Mo ni fe

Sources: 1 |

The last kiss

This picture brought back some pleasant as well as some sad memories. Little did I know at the time that it would be the last time I ever see her...

Sources: 1 |

No sex tonight

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.”

I said “WHAT??!! What was that?!”

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear… “You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.” She responded to my puzzled look by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?”

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to take so I told her we’d just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you…she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey.” She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, “I think this is all dear, let’s go to the cashier.”

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I don’t feel like it.”

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?”

I then said “honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.” And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, “Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?”

Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either.


Source: 1 |

Tahiyat lakum, baladi al-habibi

Tahiyat lakum, baladi al-habibi. Greetings to you, my beloved.

And the rest of ya all mere beings in this universe enjoying my misery.

I have finally landed in the jungle of buildings - a completely different world when I last left it 14 years ago! Mind you people change and this is the city of change - so who am I to grumble for missing the desolated desert that I had left behind?

I am always amazed by the fact that just when I think what could be worse than this, life would somehow manage to throw a curve ball and take me to strike three - and suddenly you're out sitting on the bench with that glum look on your face!

One of my primary reasons to leave the freezing warmth of UK was to dump the burden of some, correction - all of the memories of you that have been engraved in my grey matter. Apparently these haunting enagrams do not seem to care that I have journeyed across oceans sitting in chairs and eating food meant for small people. I just learnt that "dwarf" is no longer politically correct to say.

The moment I landed at the hotel, flashbacks worse than what Matt Damon had in the Borne Trilogy began bombarding me. As the sexy and smiling Philipino opened the door for me I was instanly taken back years ago while visiting you. The reception where you waited, the room where we met, the bed where we snuggled, the shower under which we kissed, and even the cute pink apples on the corner table - all reminded me of you. I so wanted to jump off the 24th floor where they put me - good job there were no open windows, I guess!

I am trapped in this weird historical dream from which I cannot wakeup. And just looking you in that picture with him made me realise that I am going to be stuck in this nightmare for a long long time...

Marhaba Dubai, bye bye UK

Fingers crossed, my next post on this blog will be from the white sands and blue waters of Dubai!

Well, if not there then definitely from hotel I am staying at: The Shangri-La.

Its almost 14 years now leaving Dubai and I am having goosebumps thinking about my flight tomorrow, for as an added bonus to myself I will be doing a stopover in the city of love! Yes, this year my Valentines would be in Paris!

O giddy! I just can't wait for tomorrow to happen!

So long, suckers! ;-)

News I like to F&#k

Ever noticed news is no longer news, but a parade of hot looking babes? You are not listening to news, but watching those lovely and gorgeous models.

Don't believe me? Then watch this:

Sources: 1 |

Punjabi Elvis

I know sometime ago I vowed that I would be staying away from copy, cut and paste sessions, but dire circumstances has forced me to make some amendments to my originalingus bug...

You have just got to see the King dance to this Punjabi track!

Sources: 1 | Afz (via email)

Shitsenders

Seriously I did not believe when I stumbled upon them. Nah, I am not talking about the favourite British soap, Eastenders... but there is this website in the hidden corners of the world wide web that actually will send an elephant's shit to anyone you care to send it to... ofcourse there is the packing and delivery charges involved, but the joy of seeing the face of the recipient would be priceless! ;-)

Currently they have only got three varieties of crap: cow, elephant and gorilla - but I am sure they will not mind taking special requests if you really insisted.

So guys and gals, got anyone that special in mind to send crap this Valentines? I know I do.

Visit them by clicking on the link: SHITSENDERS

Tags: SHITSENDERS